Friday, February 27, 2009

Baby, How's Your Credit?

Seriously, where did January and February go? The next time I post it'll be March. WOW!

Anyway, since I've been riding the relationship train all week, might as well keep that party going. Here are two articles I came across a while back that I wanted to share with you all.

Disclaimer: The following statement is going to make you think I was lying earlier in the week about not having high standards, but "dating" someone and marrying them are two different things:

If you want to marry me two things that I need to know for sure are 1) that your mother's pretty (seriously, think about the kids) and 2) that you have good credit (financial problems are the #1 reason for divorce in America).

Here's a great article about relationships and credit scores
Baby How's Your Credit

And on a separate, but related note, check out how this sister threw a $6,000 wedding. I'm not really going to do all this manual labor and cost-cutting, but even using a few of her tips can help you save money for a wedding (or any other large expensive party or gathering).
$6,000 Wedding Article
$6,000 Wedding Photo Gallery

Happy Weekend All!

Side note: Lord knows I love my President, but can someone who's paying attention please explain to me where all this money is coming from? I guess I don't really know what the 2009 budget is to compare it. Maybe we spend that much money every year... I just want to say if My President can preach to us about being personally responsible, fathers taking their place in their kids lives and not spending money we don't have and such, I think he needs to share that lesson with government. I know I'm sounding real Republican right now, but I'm an independent... all this extra spending is not making me feel any better about the state of the economy.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Seal the Deal

I've noticed lately that some men have a problem with sealing the deal. I'm sorry, I'm not going to throw you a bone, either. It's 2009. I'm grown. I only play games on Taboo night at B's or Wii night at R&P's. The point is... all my games are scheduled. If you want to show interest in me, you have to make it explicit, so I don't get my ego shattered on some "Oh I thought he liked me" type stuff.

On several recent occasions brothers have put signals out there that they're feeling me, but haven't taken the proper actions to seal the deal. Seriously, what's up with that? You either want to PLAN to do dinner or you don't. You either want to get a drink after work or you don't. The whole let me send a filler text message or facebook note is SO not what's up. Don't have your homeboy phone first to feel me out. Don't have someone ask me to add you as a facebook friend. Don't have people I don't know texting me your phone number.

Based on this post AND this post I guess I'm hard to approach. But if you actually approached me, you'd find out I'm really not asking for too much. While it's flattering to think that a guy needs to step it up to approach me, why in the name of everything that's right in the world would I want to date someone who's too intimidated to even step to me correctly?

Man up!

In the defense of all men, the young'uns have been getting good looks [lately] because [lately] they seem to have more gumption than a lot of men my age or older. I can't figure out why, but they're bringing their A game and I'm not gonna lie, I've got season tickets.

The moral of this story is brothers, if you're feeling her, please, just go ahead and seal the deal. Waiting on a woman to approach you after you've put feelers out is a punk move and if you try that with me, it'll just never happen. The worst outcome is that she explicitly tells you she's not interested, but at least you'd know for sure instead of having to stare at her awkwardly everytime you all see each other.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

What Standards? Cont.

Read this first.

Of course, I got to talking to my homeboys, TT and 4S, about it later and they mentioned, as they've mentioned before, that while I'm a fun personable person once you get to know me, in a setting where a man has to approach me, I LOOK like the type of woman who's going to give him a twenty-page questionairre before giving out my phone number... Like the type of woman who'll shut a man down before he can even get a word out.

They said I have a "regal air" about me and most men in the places I go aren't looking for regal... In the words of Kanye on Extravaganza Tea's "talkin' bout I ain't like them other girls, Well tonight he's tryna find them other girls, Bring they own rubber girls, Never meet your mother girls, You know they love it when you love 'em when they tell they friends... GURL"

LOL! So the conclusion they came to is that the men who come at me are kinda soft because based on how I LOOK and act (like a professional woman with some damn sense), men think they have to be a certain type of guy to even approach me. And the type it appears I want is a soft, backboneless, button-upped, Bryant Gumbel, Carlton Banks type dude. When, in fact, I really need/want a mostly button-upped, but take-charge, put me in my place as necessary, might wear Timberlands and a white tee two weekends out of the month type dude.

Even with this new "information," about how I unintentionally come off to people, I have no desire to try to morph into M'adam Approachable. I just think it's downright hilarious that everyone from my mother to men I don't even know thinks that I have some unreasonable set of standards that doesn't even really exist.

I guess it could be worst... everyone could think I have no standards at all... Whatev.

Side note: TT and 4S said the first step is to becoming M'adam Approachable AND attracting the type of guy I need in my life is to get my cornrows back, buy a week's worth of Baby Phat jogging suits and just "be" on the south side for 7 straight days. *eyeroll* and Womp.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Standards? What Standards?

So I was with the family after my granddad's funeral, chillin', eating some fattening artery clogging delicious tasting wonderfulness (better known as soul food). So an aunt turns to me and is like so T, when am I going to have a nephew. Now my little brother has a baby girl on the way, so I thought she was asking when I was going to get pregnant. I was like, uh... I don't know... I was hoping it was a boy too. I already have two nieces.

Then my aunt looked at me sideways and was like while I'd love for you to get pregnant, I meant a nephew-IN-LAW. I gave her the shit face, tall eyebrow, smirky laugh and said I'll let you know when I find out. Surprisingly, I wasn't put off by the question, like I usually am.

But then, my cousin, who I love, who lives in Milwaukee and who I hang out with when she's in Chicago, looks at my auntie and says, you'll have a nephew-in-law when she relaxes those high ass standards that she has. So my mouth drops to the floor, like wait... where is this coming from? And I'm nervous laughing because I'm trying to remember if any guys approached me when I was with her or what I could have said or done to make her think that I had higher standards than most.

THEN my mom walks in. And my auntie hits my mom with the same question, when is T going to give me a nephew-in-law? My mom sighs the loudest most exxagerated sigh I've ever heard and says: You know, I just pray that God sends her someone that's up to par.

So I'm sitting there shocked and laughing, still in good spirits, but trying to figure out what exactly I did to make EVERYONE think I have an unreasonable set of standards (Thursday's post might be a good indication, but let me not digress).

So I start telling them how the Chicago Market is Tapped for men and cuzzo lets me know that in Milwaukee, it's not uncommon to date a guy for some years, break up with him, then date his brother, cousin, frat, uncle or other person who's close to him. I'm sorry, Tea just can't go out like that. I'm convinced there are more fish in the sea than THAT. And I'm a World Wide Woman, so plenty of good men are just one Ding away.

hmm... this is getting long... to be continued tomorrow.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Tea & Hoes

So one day in undergrad I was sitting in IHOP with my boyfriend at the time, some of his frat brothers and my BFF, who'd come down to kick it for the weekend. Some folks were high, most of us were drunk... it was a typical night on a college campus. So over fluffy pancakes, sobering sausage and tasty juice, we began to discuss a universal topic: hoes.

I don't remember how it came up, but the good brother Mike E. (R.I.P.) said that there are different levels of hoes. You have in order: your classy hoes, your paid hoes, your regular hoes, your buckets, your bussdowns and every other level of hoe in between. He tried to reason that a classy hoe is hands down better than a bussdown.

I, being the Communication major that I was, had another thought on the situation. Allow me to share it with you. In language there are five levels of speech. Level 5 is the most vague and level 1 is the most specific. We'll use a the word "table" as an example. The word table is a level 3 word in the English language.

Level 5 - Wood
Level 4 - Furniture
Level 3 - Table
Level 2- Kitchen Table
Level 1 - Cherrywood Antique Kitchen Table

Whether you call it wood or a cherrywood antique kitchen table at the end of the day it's still a table. The level of language you use to classify it just depends on your table expertise and your overall grasp of the English language. Let's apply this same model to hoes, shall we:

Level 5 - Bussdown
Level 4 - Bucket
Level 3 - Hoe
Level 2 - Well paid Hoe
Level 1 - Classy Hoe

And so my argument was then, and still is, that a hoe is a hoe is a hoe. Whether you call him or her a bussdown or a classy hoe at the end of the day he or she is still a hoe. It just depends on your hoe expertise and your overall grasp of the English language.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Question of the Day: Winning and Such

My clients sponsor a ton of contests and sweepstakes and I usually write the rules for those bad boys with a lot of help & direction *cough* headaches and stress *cough* from legal.

Needless to say, I sign up for EVERYTHING. (I'm clearly not eligible for stuff my company sponsors, I'm talking about everything else.) I figure I have to be someone's prototype for something. I've never won any national sweepstakes or contests, but I've won a great deal of stuff locally.

Stuff I've won lately
- Tickets to the Bears/Packers game (from a raffle at work)
- Tickets to another random Bears game (from a spelling contest at McFadden's)
- An iPod (from a vendor at work)
- A $100 Best Buy Gift Card (Summer outing raffle at work)
- A jar of Miss Jessie's Curly Buttercreme (from Nerd Girl)
- The American Journey of Barack Obama (from BGG)
- Jeanette Jenkins workout videos (From BGG too)

Stuff I would like to win right now
- A trip to NYC, Vegas, the Bahamas, hell anywhere that's not Chicago
- Diamonds from A Diamond is Forever (I NEVER win their sweepstakes)
- And countless other Shape, Self and Essence magazine contest and sweepstakes that I've entered.

So, have you ever won anything? Are you in the running to win something right now?

Thursday, February 19, 2009


I am currently on my way to my grandfather's funeral. I know that's a little jarring, I should have mentioned earlier in the week that he passed away.

Today, I would like to talk to you all about the importance of having children within wedlock and/or marrying your baby's mama or daddy and/or ONLY having sex with people that you could see as the mother or father of your child. (This could also be a PSA to strap the hell up, but take it how you want it.)

My mom didn't marry my biological father (2 points for her on that one). When you add her parents and his parents I had a normal set of grandparents (two like everyone else). THEN my mom married my first stepfather (who I call dad). This brings me up to three sets of grandparents. Then my dad died. THEN my mom married my current step-father. This brings Tea to a grand total of four sets of grandparents.

That means whereas most people only have to mourn the loss (and possible loss) of four grandparents in the course of their lifetime, I have to mourn the loss (and possible loss) of eight. It's heartbreaking (and also very hard to explain to regular people AND my HR department).

Of course, you can look at it positively and say I had the opportunity to have more people bless my life, which is true, but right now, I'm talking about mourning.

I know you're wondering, but I'm doing fine. There is a time for everything and now is the time for death and mourning. Sam Sr (grandpa), is going to meet Sam Jr. (dad) in heaven and I just pray that God never takes Sam the III (baby brother) from me. Please keep my family, especially my brothers, in your prayers.

AND back to my public service announcement: I beg of you, be responsible when it comes to picking your children's other parent (i.e. anyone you sleep with from here on out). There are so many factors to consider, but a nuclear family is healthiest for the children and will save you and them thousands of dollars in therapy (assuming you don't screw your kids up some other way, LOL!)

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Fitness Update

I haven't done one of these in a while.

So you all know I go back and forth from trying to lose weight/tighten up to trying to gain weight/thicken out. LOL!

I think what I'm doing is probably pretty unhealthy, but there are so few things in life that I can actually control, that I find it empowering that I can control my weight. So during the get it right period (spring 2008), I think I gained 4-6 pounds. I wasn't weighing myself though, I was just trying on that dress that was too big.

Then in December 2008/January 2009, I started hitting the gym HARD and quasi-dieting. 1200 calories a day, very few carbs, 100 calorie snacks, lots of soup (which fills you up, but doesn't have a lot of calories). For those that don't know. I typically do a soup diet every winter. I said I was going to stop doing that, but it's so depressing when your clothes don't fit and you're trying to pay off debt, so you don't want to shop too much. So I lose weight, rather than shop.

Anyway, the December 2008/January 2009 quasi-diet was brought about because there was a formal dress I wore freshman year in ungergrad that I was trying to get into for the black tie gala in D.C. during inaugural weekend. That was a big fat fail. I lost 10 pounds, BUT the dress still didn't fit... like couldn't even zip it up. I think I'm just built differently than I was back then. (which is fine).

So when I found out I'd lost 10 pounds, I figured I could eat whatever I wanted. I'm ordering avocado on all my lunch sandwiches. Eating one and a half blueberry muffins on continental breakfast Friday, gettin that McNuggets lovin' in, having three courses for Sunday brunch, eating cake for dinner... Do you know 5 of those 10 pounds are back already (in like 7 days). FUGDE!

Now I have to start restricting calories again and please believe I'll be at the gym every day until I'm back at fighting weight.

I don't know that the back and forth will ever end because I have the worst sweet tooth, but I'm also opposed to my clothes not fitting. Whatever... that's the update.

Monday, February 16, 2009

All-Star Weekend Recap (With photos)

This seems like a long post, but it's really not, just a lot of photos)

First, we stocked up on vacation drank.

And of course, the breakfast of champions right here.

Here's the damage we did at the mall... well, let's be for real thummyb and I stopped at a couple of malls. Now this is the absolute best part about any trip. I guarantee you the messes are running rampant through the mall of any big event. HU homecoming, Inauguration weekend, All-Star Weekend, Pro-bowl. You name it, if you can find a mall, you can find a mess and entertain yourself for the free during the day.

Worst mess: the city alert "models" wearing high waisted shiny leggings and midriff baring t-shirts parading through the mall in the daylight. It was atrocious and most people were so focused at looking at the models butts jiggle that I'm sure they didn't even see what [else] they were advertising. Also, the promotion FAILED because that didn't want to make me go to, it actually made me ban it from my internet searches. Womp.

Side note: There were considerably fewer messes in general in Phoenix than there were in Vegas. It's like groupies stepped their game up BUT I also think a lot of messy folks sat Phoenix out because they couldn't figure out how to successfully bust down in the desert (and it's a recession, etc, etc).

Slam Dunk Contest: OFF THE CHAIN! I can't even describe it to you. I'm sure you saw it on TV, but it was that much better in person. Best part: Nate Robinson doing the stanky legg after he dunked over Dwight Howard's shoulder... LOVED IT.

This is the actual All-Star game. It was pure hotness too! Not sure if you watched it, but during the first 7 or 8 minutes the East team brought the HEAT, then it was all downhill for them after that. Shaq is a beast. I know you already know that, but it's worth repeating. Best part of the experience was clearly Shaq dancing with Jabberwocki. SO HOT (and unexpected).

As you can see we left no Vitamin Water unturned. We actually had to go back to the store and stock up for the last day. Vitamin Water attributes=Get gone quick, minimal to no hangover and no harassment from the po-po on why you're carrying open drank. I've converted PyT and Thummyb. If you go on a vacay with me... you too, will believe.

This photo right 'chere is the aftermath of being tipsy all weekend. We get to a party [that we pre-paid for] at the Arizona Science Center and the venue's nice, the food is good, but there's NO one there. Like 10, maybe 20 people and it's a big museum like the Field in Chicago. So we decided to check out the exhibits. We don't go to the adult stuff... nope, we end up making legos, puzzles, and playing in the "4-year-old and under ONLY" section. For some reason thought my shoe matched the legos and decided to capture it on film...

Then we spotted a mess (who was just as bored as we were) and bounced. (See mess below)

Is it a winter boot? A summer boot? Is it metal? plastic? Is that a hefty bag coming out of the top? Someone please tell me what the hell is going on here.

And lastly celebrity sightings were: Magic and Cookie Johnson promoting Cookie's new line of something at Nordstrom in downtown Scottsdale; Tiny and T.I. leaving out of T.I.'s party while we were on the way in; Amare Stoudamire at the same party (he was co-hosting); Carl Anthony Payne (Tommie from Martin) at T.I./Amare's party. Robert Ri-Chard at the airport (super cutie pie); Jesse Jackson on our flight home. And of course all the players and celebs that were actually at the game and dunk contest.

***UPDATE*** We also saw Christina Millian. She is cute as a button and just as fly. I think the Dream was there with her too, but I can't really recall. I blame it on the Vodka.

Yep, another one for the books. Have a great Tuesday everyone!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Quote of the Day

I liquor so good she don't go around beer. :)

- lil Wayne - Blame it on the Alcohol Remix

Um... wow. You all know how I feel about folks who have a way with words. Good game is priceless out here.

P.S. I've been in Phoenix since yesterday for NBA All-Star weekend. Don't trip, it's a "work" trip. Our office is also closed Monday for President's Day, so I'll holla back at you all on Tuesday. I don't think I mentioned how much I love my job today... *ahem* I LOVE MY JOB!!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Per Kay's Request: 16 things from facebook

Referenced here.

1. I do a lot of stuff I would have otherwise not done, out of boredom (and because my friends wanted to).

2. I think skinny is just as insulting of a word as fat.

3. No matter how much weight you gain or lose people will always see you the way you were when you first met them. This is why blind dates are a bad idea. "No, he's really cute, or he was in high school, I swear"... Womp.

4. When I'm not feeling so hot I put on my favorite shoes and wear them around the house all day. I've named this action shoe party. (Some of you heard about this on myspace a couple of years ago... I still do it)

5. My natural hair sometimes makes me feel very confident and free. Other times it makes me feel inadequate.

6. I love my friends like family. Only recently did I notice that this was abnormal.

7. I love and hate facebook equally. Facebook is always showing me people I'd rather not hear about ever again in life. I wish them no harm, I just wish them out of my direct line of sight.

8. I think shredding paper is therapeutic.

9. Some days I just don't want to participate in life. I just want to pause my part and let everyone else keep going and just observe. Like the movie click, but without all those negative side effects.

10. I feel like if I don't do it (anything) no else will. Hence my disability to "sit down somewhere and relax" like b. said.

11. I often play a game called "How could I help you look better" in my head. It's quite entertaining on public transportation. It's like what not to wear, but in real life.

12. I don't really like rap music. Like, I don't hate it, but if I never heard it ever again, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

13. I have an unrealistic relationship with pretty. When good-looking people introduce me to their significant others and they're not attractive, it bothers me more than it should. Just like when people purposely post up unattractive photos of themselves. Yes, there's spinach in my teeth, but let's post it to Facebook anyway.

14. I love my brothers indescribably. I can't explain it, but when I get to see them both on the same day again (Maybe Christmas '09), I may explode.

15. I love gossip blogs, but hate the lack of privacy the celebrities have. I would be terrified if I was a celebrity because I just don't think it's natural for cameras to be flashing so much while you're trying to live your life. I'd definitely be in jail for harming the paparazzi.

16. I love the movie Cars. If I could find some Cars rain boots in my size I would definitely buy them. I am not joking.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Some Things Never Change

So everyone's been putting up the irritating facebook chain letters, I mean er um... fun notes. I participated as well and for the non-facebookers basically you write 16 or 25 interesting facts about yourself and post them as a note and people comment on them. Then you tag 16 or 25 of your friends then they have to do it too.

Everyone has their own take on it (funny, serious, reflective; TMI; TT's note-like all his other notes-started an 80-comment conversations on relationships with a bunch of people who aren't in relationships **oops did I type that out loud**HAHAHA). I heard my 16 facts were hilarious (I so did not mean for them to be, but whatev).

So while reading I find out that more than a few of my favorite, down-est party homies used to be shy. I'm on some straight WTF because I don't really like shy people. Shy people make me nervous. I'm like say something... do something... you're scaring me with the quietness.

So anyway, I still love my homies, but I've just never been shy, reserved, quiet, introverted, nothing of the sort, ever. I might have been intimidated by a few folks which 'caused me to be quiet for a limited time only, but quiet is never a word anyone would use to describe me.

Peep a few pre-school stories that I can remember that further illustrate my point. Yes, I remember pre-school... stop calling me weird.

1. On the first day of pre-school at the tender age of 3 (maybe 2 and a half) I politely left the fun circle where the rest of my classmates were playing with blocks and legos and ish and went over to my mom who was sitting in a chair on the wall watching me. I asked her to please leave and quickly. She had taken off work and decided to stay with me on the first day to make sure I was alright. I, at the tender age of three, felt like she was seriously messing up my social flow. I convinced her that I was ok and vividly remember shoo-ing her out the door with this embarassed look on my face before getting back to my blocks. GEE WHIZ MOM!

2. My pre-school (Oak Park River Forest Day Nursery STAND UP! LOL!) was very strict about having kids having to stay with their own age group, but I was too smart-a special case, if you will. I knew how to read at 3, but most of the other kids were stupid. So being the good Christian 3-year old I was I felt like it was my job to pass out all the answers to my less-than-gifted homies. Every day the teacher would scold me for helping people out. I couldn't understand it. I was thinking, sharing is caring and I'm out here trying to help my dumb friends and I keep getting in trouble.

Teacher: Johnny, it's your turn. Do you know what the "H" sound is.
Johnny: Uh... Uh...
T: Looking around...
T: *Whispering like a 3-year old whispers, so I was loud as hell* It's HUH, like Hi or Hat
Johnny: It's HUH, like hat
Teacher: *in a condescending teacher voice that they use for little stupid kids* Now TEEE, we've gone over this. You cannot give the answers to the other kids, ok?
T: *with my top lip all the way up on my nose in disgust and looking as guilty as the day is long* What? I didn't give him the answer.

About 2 weeks of that and they swiftly moved me into the room with the overgrown four year olds. They were stupid too, but that's neither here nor there.

The moral of the story is I've been a social butterfly since birth. What about you? Were you shy as a shorty? Do you have any funny stories from pre-school?

Monday, February 9, 2009

Tea's Tangents

1. The grammys were surprisingly hot last night! Al Green and JT... um delicious! Coldplay and Jay-Z... hotness. Carrie Underwood was Fire... Stevie and the Jonas brothers (they remind me of a white version of The Boys. I used to LOVE the Boys)... Swagger like us HOTTEST PERFORMANCE EVER... the Four Tops rendition... John Mayer, Keith Urban, B.B. King OH MY! The whole show was hot.

2. I can't believe Beyonce wasn't at the Grammys. You know I haven't been on her team as of late, but she helps me get it right, get it tight at the gym with the I am Sasha Fierce joints, so I like her again. I heard she was crying her eyes out about Etta James' comments and rightfully so. Etta was mean. She better bounce back though. It's money to be made out here.

3. It's REALLY EFFED UP about Chris Brown and Rihanna. If he really did hit her I have lost all respect for this dude. If he didn't hit her, I've lost all respect for Rihanna. Either way, I'll never look at them as a cute couple again. Damn teenager millionaires.

4. I have the Essie nail color Wicked on right now. While it's fabulous it also looks JUST like KC masterpiece bbq sauce and I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about 6-piece chicken nuggets from Wendy's everytime I look down at it.

5. How do I say this without offending anyone... aw eff it. Here goes: Just because you're light-skinned, it doesn't mean you look good with blond hair. What you want to do is, go to, upload a photo of yourself and try on a bunch of hairstyles. If blond looks bad on you on the Web site, trust me it looks equally tragic in real life. Please share this message with friends. Lord knows, I don't want to have discuss this in detail with photo examples.

6. Bed, Bath & Beyond sends coupons like they're going out of style. Linens N Things used to take Bed, Bath & Beyond coupons without respect to date, so I could essentially get 20% off every single item I bought because LNT didn't care. But now I actually have to go to BB&B and BB&B respects their own expiration dates. FUDGE!

7. D.L. Hughley breaks the news was HORRIBLE for its first episode, but I caught it again lately and it's actually kind of funny. Give it another try if you haven't seen it since that first day.

8. I absolutely love when men wear untied ties and bowties. The concept is the sexiest thing ever to me! But be forewarned, if you have on a loose tie or bowtie I will take it from you and wear it. At the club, at a wedding, winter gathering at your boy's crib, doesn't matter, if it's loose and it's fly, I have to take it from you and wear it and the drunker I am, the more determined I am to get it.

9. Katie Couric's new haircut is super fly.

Friday, February 6, 2009


There are three trips I really want to go on this year that I'm thinking about not going on and it's tearing me apart. (A couple other trips are budgeted and planned, so not backing out of those).

I can count on one hand the trips that I really wanted to go on that I said no to. (Miami w/ thummyb and Joi in 2006 and NYC with PyT and Ash in 2008). When I tell you I was sick about missing these trips, I mean I damn near couldn't look at the facebook photos, I was SO sick. But these are trips where I either 1) couldn't afford to go or 2) could afford to go, but decided to use my money for [what seemed at the time to be] more practical, responsible things.

EVERY other trip that I really wanted to go on, I've taken. Folks know, if you plan a trip, T is riding out. Plain and simple.

But... it's 2009. My finances have never been in better shape and though I'm 90% sure I'm going to postpone my condo-buying aspirations, I REALLY wanted to Jerome Bettis tackle my credit card debt this year. How, HOW can I pay down debt swiftly when I have family and friends that I want to visit in other states, fabulous friends who invite me on fabulous trips and professional conferences that I want to attend?

HOW in the name of sweet baby Jesus wrapped in swaddling clothes can I choose between the peace of a zero balance on a credit card statement and the stories of a good trip.

Tea & Such readers have been entertained non-stop by my trip stories. My friends in real life have too... (much more detailed nonsense, of course). I just feel like right now is the time for the craziness. I'll never get my 20s back. I am young and unattached and I'm all about seizing the day because face it, life is all about the stories. The stories=priceless memories=thousands of reasons to tell my grandkids "your granny used to kick it. Do you hear me? KICK. IT."

The sad part is there is no correct answer. Neither choice will leave me completely satisfied. [Imagine that... being an adult and having to make decisions that don't leave you completely satisfied. Real life sometimes=Wackness]. If I go on the trips, when I'm alone at home re-working my budget I'm going to feel like I failed at meeting a goal (paying CC debt down VERYFAST *sounding like Kanye's interlude*). If I don't go on the trips, I'm going to be looking at the zero balances on the cards thinking that they weren't worth the good times I missed with friends and memories I could have made.

I think you all know what this means... second job, I'll be back for the summer. I'm going to attempt, yet again, to be superwoman, have my cake and eat it too. *sigh*

P.S. I love you all dearly, but I'm not really in the mood to hear your advice on what you think I should do or how your feel about decisions that I make, so I'm disabling comments. As personal as these decisions are, I just needed to get it out on paper... er um... computer screen. (Send me an e-mail if you're feeling real strong about something)

I also wanted to share in case anyone else was going through something similar. *In my best white Mike rendition... hands out... right foot stumpin'... head back... eyes closed... singing* You are not alone. LOL!

Thursday, February 5, 2009


As big of a football fan as I am, I'm actually not talking about sports today... not really. I'm talking about the club, the bar, the beach house and any other place where buying a drink is involved.

How do you convert "trying to holla" into a drink? You can laugh all you want to, but this is a skill I've yet to master and I'm SO serious about making it happen.

Proven techniques:

1. Whatcha drinkin?
Pass: You're holding a drink - a fella says what are you drinking and heads to get you another from the bar.
Fail: You're hold a drink - a fella says what are you drinking, you answer and he says, oh ok. I like those.

2. I'm thirsty
Pass: You're chatting it up with a fella, you say, I'm thirsty... he says you want something to drink? and heads to the bar to get you a drink.
Fail: You're chatting it up with a fella, you say I'm thirsty (and pause a lil bit)... then you say I think I'm going to head to the bar (and pause a lil bit)... Then he says I'll see you when you get back.

I typically fail at 1 and 2.

Another proven technique is to have a man and/or husband, but I haven't mastered that technique yet either... baby steps people, baby steps.

I will also say that when I'm not trying to get a drink, the fellas always want to buy me a drink. Maybe when I AM trying to get a drink they smell the thirst coming off of me. Sad.

Nevertheless, I need more techniques. Ladies and fellas, how do I convert "trying to holla" into a beverage?

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Club Complainers

People who complain about being at the club while at the club: Let me just say I HAIGHTCHOO!!! Go the hell home then.

Not only are you hypocritical, self-rightous, condescending and irritating, but you're also KILLING my buzz.

I like to party. It's been said and I'll continue to say it until one day I, magically, don't like to party anymore. If you have feelings about people who like to party, sit your ass at home and eat ice cream and popcorn and call up another friend who's sitting their ass at home eating pie and chicken wings and complain to them like the nag that you are.

DO NOT sit at the bar and when I come up to get a drink complaining about how you don't want to be there, but your girl dragged you out. That's interesting, I don't see any scrapes on your body? Is she your ride home? Cabs not running? CTA stopped service? Your man/dip/booski/homieloverfriend couldn't come get you?

DO NOT be in the VIP section and when I come over to pour a drink complain to me about how it's your guy's birthday, so you had to be there for him even though you hate the club. Brother... He KNOWS you KNOW it's his birthday. He'll take a greeting card/e-mail/text message/facebook status update. Hell, you could have called in the bottle service from your house. Please believe, your presence (as is this interaction we're having right now, which you initiated) is unneccesary.

DO NOT stand with the screw face on the dance floor talking about how you haven't been out in a while and wanted to see what the scene was like. News flash: It's the same old scene. Nothing's changed because you haven't been there. People are still drinking, sometimes falling over drunk, dancing, sometimes falling over drunk and canoodling, sometimes falling over drunk.

If you don't drink and don't like to see people sometime falling over drunk PLEASE I beg of you go to Dave & Buster's, 10 Pin, Chuck E. Cheese, Enchanted Castle or some other place where having fun doesn't revolve being just drunk enough or just a lil bit too drunk.

I am not sypathetic to your plight. I am not empathetic to your plight. I already made up my mind that I'm going to have a good time because 10 times out of 10, my makeup's cute, my outfit's cute, my feet hurt ('cause my shoes are cute) and I probably have some drink in me and I didn't come out of the house to complain or hear your punk ass complain.

Fun is not a feeling, it's an action that you make happen... a lot like love, but more on that in another post.

So in closing: ADULTS, man or woman up and don't do stuff you don't like to do. It's 2009, if you don't want to go to the club, bar, party or other socializing locale: DON'T GO.

Moving forward, I will call you out on your wackness if I'm trying to enjoy myself and you're killing my buzz with the anti-partying talk. And please share this note with your anti-partying talk friends... I don't want anyone to say they weren't forewarned.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

DC/Chicago Gun Ban

Hmm, back to bubbly tomorrow. Today I guess I'll keep the controversial topics going. This has been in my drafts since August when D.C. passed a handgun ban (similar to Chicago's). Finally time to talk about it.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but in Chicago it's illegal to have a handgun. i.e. you can't purchase one, you can't have it on your person and you can't have it in your car in the city of Chicago. You could probably get one in Indiana and keep it in the suburbs if need be, but not in the Chi.

The reason Chicago does this is to cut down on gun crime. Attention law makers: AHEM *clearing my throat thoroughly* IT'S NOT WORKING!!!

Now, I've heard many older people who are in agreement with the gun ban. My President agrees with it, My Bishop at my church, I'm pretty sure my grandmothers are in alignment with it. I just don't understand it. It's not like folks who are gangbanging or terrorizing Chicago or other urban neighborhoods are ACTUALLY registering for their guns. They're buying them underground, off the black market, from someone you may or may not know in the hood, etc, etc.

I don't understand why good, law-abiding citizens should be denied the right to protect themselves with handguns when they're not the ones making the the trouble.

A homegirl who's packing noted that getting caught by the police for having a handgun is a much better punishment than getting your life taken because you were unprepared to defend yourself. I have no interest in owning a gun, but: *in my best hood voice* it's the principalities of the matter.

Instead of regulating guns so toughly, I think we need to put a better, stronger, more INTENSE focus on early education and strengthening neighborhood and community organizations. Now WTF are you talking about T? I know, I know, it may seem as a bit of a disconnect, but anyone who pulls a gun on you or who's quick to take a life for a couple hundred dollars at a gas station or over some corner hustla ish is someone who doesn't value their own life. (How much do corner hustlas make really... not a lot) and I'd go further to say that they're people who don't have the mental capacity to understand the precious gift that is life, the things one can accomplish with a life, the changes that can be made to the world by one person, one life.

This person doesn't, these people don't see a future for themselves or others. They don't see a whole world, they see their corner, their block, their city. No further, no wider. And a lot of times it's because they've been disadvantaged from birth. (Don't get me wrong, some people have opportunities and are thugging just to be thugging, but we'll discuss them at another time, ok?)

Digressing... so if someone has the world at their fingertips as a 2, 3 or even 4 year old AND understands that their potential is limitless, the likelihood for them to be involved in life-ending careless behavior goes down significantly (unless that life-taking careless behavior is unprotected sex or bad eating, which statistically disproportionately affects all African-Americans transcending class and socio-economic status in the race).

Digressing again, more on that later.

So I'll just end here. Question of the day=What do you think about the gun ban? My ultimate thought is that My City, Chi City is the murder capital of the United States... we'd given the title up to Gary, IN a few years back, then Little Rock, AR, then NYC, now we're back. The effing handgun ban has been in effect since '83. THIS SHOWS ZERO PROGRESS, which means there has to be another way. We need to change minds, not just laws.

Seems like the handgun ban is just in effect to legally terrorize citizens or worse yet, put more African-American men in jail... please, speak on it.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Moment of Silence

I'll be back to my crazy self tomorrow, but right now I just want to take a moment of silence for this young brother who was shot and killed AT THE CLUB in Chicago.

I remember the summer of '04 in Chicago, the club scene was crazy and not in a good way. We lost Coryel to some bull-ish at the door at Door 21 (and people still try to get me to go there). Lost a couple young brothers to some stupidness at Cafe Allure too, the weekend after me and my girls had gone for the first time.

I thought things had died down, but apparently not and it's so sad.

You all know I like to party and I've never been to Transit, but some of my homies have and it wouldn't be out of the ordinary for me to be there. It's just crazy how you can loose your life trying to live your life. All the clubs I've been to and partying I've done... this definitely could have been me.

So yeah, take a moment of silence and pray for the family of this 28 year old black man who's 7-year old son lost his father last week to NONSENSE.