Tuesday, September 30, 2008


Happy Birthday Thummyb!!

And in other news:

Zara. Is. Coming. To. Chicago!

First H&M renovates (which really didn't do anyone a bit of good, but whatever)
Then Akira in Water Tower (which I just found out was seasonal, womp).
Then Forever 21 moves into the old Virgin Megastore.
Now ZARA's coming too. OH THE DELIGHT!!!

First Crain's announced it. Then my girl, who's clearly a much more reliable source, told me.


If my aestician could just move to the Magnificent mile, then every possible thing (besides family and friends) that keeps me fabulous would be within walking distance of my job.

Side note (E-mail me a couple more bad pick up lines. I'm putting that Top 10 up on Friday)

Other side note: Franco Sarto was at Nordstrom on Michigan Avenue last week talking shop. Why did I not know about this!?!?!?!?

Monday, September 29, 2008

Mike's Quotes

These are all quotes from my boy Mike. If you think I'm funny, this dude will have you in stitches. Oh, and on the rare occassions we get a chance to roast together, it's MADNESS. Anyway, Big Mike, this one's for you.

Mike: "Hey big pimpin'"
Me: "I am NOT a pimp"
Mike: "Oh... um... excuse me... I'm sorry... Hey, big dater"
Me: "WAZZUP!!!"

"If Lovie Smith was running for President, you'd definitely be in jail right now."
- Big Mike in reference to the "Really Lovie" post

"This is a rule for women AND men. Your clothes, should not fit... your rolls.
- Big Mike on the rules of being big

"I'm healthy"
- Big Mike (in general)

"My #$%^ is straighter than Indian hair"
- Big Mike on why he refuses to wear skinny jeans and/or do other things that would indicate that he was homosexual.

"My boy Bill Mahr is an equal opportunity asshole."
- Big Mike on political comedy

"She look like 'got damnit I bite'"
- Big Mike on how ugly some chic was

"AntP tripped into her and got lucky"
- Big Mike's toast describing AntP's road to marriage

"Because I don't trust you. You're like Martha Stewart of setting dudes up. And you wouldn't even mean to do it."
- Big Mike on why I don't need to form a bond with his girl

"Ma'am it doesn't really matter what you say to me, due to your funky ass attitude there's going to be a 2-week hold on your pay"
- Big Mike at work

"However, I would suggest only having top quality hoes at your special event, that way they only add to the glamour of the occasion."
- Big Mike on inviting hoes to weddings

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Grocery Shopping

It's the weekend, which means among house cleaning and relaxation, I also need to prep for the rest of the week, including grocery shopping. You'll be happy to know that I can do all these things in my PJs thanks to Peapod.com.

You all know I don't drive, so I LOVE this site. Not only do you get to shop online, but the guys who deliver the groceries and nice and professional and they bring the groceries all the way up to my apartment. (When I first ordered I was expecting to have to go downstairs and get the groceries myself, not so).

Another neat thing about peapod is that it's impossible to forget anything. Just walk to your refrigerator or cabinets and see what's missing. You can review your order and make sure you're not forgetting anything, or paying to much for anything. If something seems expensive, you can click on "specials" and see what other brands may be having a sale on the items you want. It beats walking back and forth through the grocery store aisles comparing prices and getting run over by the hundreds of other people who waited until the weekend to go grocery shopping as well.

As you can see, I'm a big fan!

Peapod pros
- Easy
- Convenient
- Specials Section (they have all the sales in one space)
- Flat $9.95 delivery fee (well worth it to me)
- Flexible ship times
- Professional delivery men

Peapod cons
- You have to spend at least $50 (i.e. this isn't for the one-off eggs, bread or sugar you forgot)
- You can't use manufacturers coupons (or if you can I haven't figured out how) ***UPDATE*** you CAN use manufacturers coupons. FTW!
- You won't meet your future husband or wife while grocery shopping

Also, I just got a flyer in the mail for free shipping on orders over $100. I encourage you all to try it and let me know what you think. You've got nothing to lose since shipping is free.

1. Enter the code: SAVENOW in there promotional code box at checkout on the Web site, expires 9/30/08

2. Enter the code: SAVEAGAIN in the promotional code box at checkout on the Web site, expires 10/15/08

Happy Shopping!!!

Friday, September 26, 2008

I HATE liars...

I wish people could go to jail for lying because McCain's PR person came out here lying on CNN. I wanted to jump through the TV. I'm switching to HGTV. I was much happier when I didn't have cable...

Thursday, September 25, 2008

I'm famous...

Ok, not really, but I am an anonymous young "color-blind" [yeah right] voter on BBC radio. [Listen to the whole thing, but] Check me out from 3:00 to 4:00 minutes.

Thoughts on the piece?

Faith Apostolic Church report.mp3 -

Big ups to Penn at The Fresh Spot, for telling me how to get an MP3 on the page. Next stop, Microsoft. LOL!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Real Quick: Excerpts from Today's News Articles (with Tea's Commentary)

Palin has been in New York this week for a series of meetings with foreign leaders, part of an effort by Republican John McCain's presidential campaign to counter criticism that the former small-town mayor lacks the experience to be vice president, let alone president in an emergency.

Does anyone else find this funny?

As Palin sought to establish her credentials in world affairs, first lady Laura Bush said that Palin lacked sufficient foreign policy experience but was "a quick study."

That's what we need, someone cramming for the presidency.

Obama said "The next president should be able to deal with more than one thing at once."

i.e. John McCain, get on my level (this is in reference to John McCain trying to postpone the debates)

"McCain's running mate, Sarah Palin, also was canceling her limited campaign events."

Um... yeah, 'cause no one's interested in a pitbull with lipstick.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Get Your Debate Party On

Side Note: If for some reason, I don't show up to work on Wednesday, it's because I've had a heart attack. I'm sitting here eating a bag of [delicious] fries and I can feel my heart stopping, one greasy sliced potato at a time.

Anyway, watch this, listen to it, do what she says, get your politics on.


P.S. Me, my mom and stepfather will be registering people to vote at their garage sale on Saturday. Stop by to get your vote on (or send a friend). Clearly, if you don't know where my mom and stepfather live, then I'm not really talking to you, so ignore this part of the post.

Event Alert: Obama Fundraiser

This came from a homie in an email, read, go to the event, support Obama. :) If you don't feel like reading it all, I highlighted the most important stuff

Young and Powerful for Obama is a group of young professionals that share one common theme -- being great role models and community leaders. With a commitment to service and upward mobility, members represent a multitude of backgrounds, such as political organizing, fundraising, lobbying, education, public policy, architecture, journalism, law, entertainment, business, advertising, medicine, fashion, marketing, and the for-profit and non-profit sectors.

In the past year Young & Powerful for Obama has raised over $50,000 in 7 cities through over 1000 donors for the Obama for America campaign. Our efforts have been featured in various news sources including the Washington Post and the New York Post.

On Thursday, September 25th, Chicago will host the last installment before Election Day of the Young and Powerful benefit series titled Young & Powerful for Obama: The Final Countdown at the Blu Coral, a benefit that will be held in 7 cities all in one week in support of U.S. Senator Barack Obama's movement towards the White House.

While we know many of you won't be able to join us, donating to the event (and thus the campaign) will be much appreciated.Click the link below and do the following:


2) Fill out the information and pay online on bottom of webpage. (min. donation $25.00) and sign up for event.

3) Add the person who told you about the event in the "comment" section.

4) Invite your friends via site to the event. Make payment and print the confirmation page out and bring it with you/but your name will be on a list as well.

5) Spread the word to your family, friends and fellow Obama supporters by forwarding this email to your contacts

6) Come out and network with fellow Obama supporters and have a great time.With Hope,Chicago's Young and Powerful for Obama

Monday, September 22, 2008

Weekend Recap!!!

This weekend was [exhausting and] off the chain. I'm going to start with a brief recap, then I'll provide commentary on AntP's wedding. This is a long post, but it's Monday and you don't really want to do all that work you left on your desk Friday afternoon anyway, so go ahead and read it all.

Thursday night - Went to a bar, spelled Adewale Ogunleye (who doesn't know how to spell that, lol) and won free Bears tickets!

Friday - Day off work!
8-11 am - Wait for Comcast, sit with Comcast dude while he installs my cable
11am-2pm - Go to work (I know, I know, but my team had an event in Chicago that day, it'd look bad for the manager [me] to not be there)
2-8 pm - Shop for something to wear to Gary's morning wedding and AntP's afternoon wedding (Yes, I had two weddings in one day and shopping in 6 hours for a wedding outfit is difficult, but your girl has skills!)
9pm - Travel to the south side to get my cousin's car, so I wouldn't have to go get it in the morning.
10:30pm - Retire.

Saturday - 7am Wake up, shower, do my hair
8am - Go pay the meter
9:15am - Travel FAR SOUTH to Gary's wedding
9:50am - Get to the church way to early for a 10:30am wedding (better early than late, I say).
9:51am - Kill an Otis Spunkmeyer muffin.
10:00am - Go inside, find out the wedding doesn't start til 11am, silently curse everyone who operates on CP time (I'm a punctual person in case you didn't know).
SIDE NOTE: If you think you're going to be late for my wedding, don't bother coming. Your feelings will be thoroughly hurt when you can't get in. Just go straight to the reception, no hard feelings.
11am - Wait
12pm - Wait
12:30 - Run to the car and get accosted by church folks as to whether or not I'm making a food run
12:45 - Wedding starts
1:15 - Bride walks in, Tea walks out (it was a clean break, cause everyone was standing)
1:20 - Stop at Popeyes and kill a mini Delta and a biscuit
1:30 - Get to P's wedding
1:31-9pm (P's wedding and reception, see that commentary below)
9-11pm - Recover at Thummyb's and Kel's cribs
11pm - 2am THE CLUB

Bears game. We lost. 'Nough said.
Now that the weekend has been recapped, here's Tea's commentary on P's wedding. So much to say, so little blank space.


1. It was "unfortunately classy." I mean, this is a dude that named his wedding "racial-epithet-fest 2008." I was anxiously awaiting debauchery and lude comments from the groomsmen. Not so. It was a total EBP affair.

2. When I came in the groomsmen were leaning and rocking with it.

3. When AntP walked in with the minister and his best man, the crowd started cheering like we were at a concert. It was legendary.

4. It only started forty minutes late, which Brad and I simultaneosly noted was good for a BP affair, E or not.

5. The bride, who was beautiful by the way, was taunting the groom while he did his vows. She was mouthing stuff like "LOOOOOOOVE ME" and "FOR-E-VAH" to him. I guarantee you've never laughed this hard at a wedding.

6. There was a dude in the wedding named Big Chris who made Big Mike look skinny.

7. The wedding was Hollywood themed. i.e. the bridesmaids had on Sparkle-inspired [please google the movie Sparkle, if you don't know what I'm talking about] red dresses with black gloves and the bride walked down a red monogrammed carpet. I'm a little touched that I didn't think of this first.


8. The reception was immaculate... straight off TLC or WeTV, red and white hotness.

9. The wedding planner annouced the fellas were walking in in "Michael Jeffrey Jordan's finest." Yes, they wore Jordans at the reception. It was hot!

10. There were wedding crashers, which was HILARIOUS!

11. Kenya and my cuz had thee BEST commentary, and I came in as a special correspondent as needed. For example:

Kenya: Evelyn, we're live at AntP's wedding and the non-alcoholic drink of choice is "tropical fruit punch." We're taste testing now to see if this is Wyler's or if it is, in fact, red Kool-aid.
Tea: I've got a special report, annouce me in, announce me in
Kenya: Tea just in with this special report, Tea
Tea: Neither Kool-aid nor Wylers, has that *insert tongue ticking noise here* kick that Hawaiian punch has. The reports aren't in, but with a *tongue tick* kick like this, it's safe to say, we're drinking Hawaiian punch.
Evelyn: Don't be fooled by the hype. This is Tahitian treat. Back to you.

12. The toasts were hilarious as expected:

ChrisP (best man): You've always been there for me, some other endearing stuff... crying by the brothers, the bride and pretty much everyone woman in the room
S.A.: ...I'm not gonna cry like your brother, but you're my boy and I'm happy for you
Big Mike: ...AntP tripped into Ella and got lucky

13. I met Dion and Big Mike's moms. The three of us discussed Mike's wedding, how it should happen soon, what the colors should be, location, favors, etc. Mike's pretty much out the game.

14. P started footworkin' mid reception and Reese's girl served him his drank boxing-corner style.

15. Reese's girl also requested Nuck if you Buck and "any song just like it." She ensured the perplexed DJ that the groom and his guests would enjoy it. We did and you should have seen the ignance that ensued when Marco Polo came on.

In closing, the reception started at 4 and wrapped at about 9pm. It was everything a WY affair should be. Congratulations to the happy couple!

P.S. Saw the newlyweds at the Bears game yesterday. That's how you celebrate a marriage, right there! I'm gonna have to plan my wedding around football season. It's too much pressure to get married AND focus on the Bears.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Question of the day: Free photo sharing?

Hey Folks,

I pissed at Kodak because they erased ALL my photo albums (R&Ps engagement, D's weddings, D's house visit, R&P's Bahamian wedding [more than 200 photos that I uploaded one by one]. I emailed them and they said they sent me an email saying that I needed to make a qualifying purchase by a certain time in order to keep my photos and I didn't respond to their email. I'm pretty sure it went to Spam, 'cause I didn't see an email about it AT ALL. Now I have to go buy photo and they'll restore my albums within a week, if I share the purchase ID email with some email address they provided, etc, etc. Complicated, I know.

I understand that they have to make money, but don't say you're a free site, if you're not a free site. I wonder how long until Facebook starts charging people. Whatever...

Do you know which photo sites are totally free besides facebook and Kodak Easy Share Gallery?

Friday, September 19, 2008

T-shirts and Such

So I have a love affair with words. I love to talk. I love to write (teaandsuch, poetry, I even enjoy those press releases and client memos.)

Thummyb and Dorian can tell you how unattractively excited I get about good game: i.e. smooth words from men (usually lies), but whatever.

I love words. In addition to always thinking about phrases I should put on a shirt (Tell a friend; If I'm making a face it's probably because of what YOU look like, not the other way around; You suck as a person; Yes, I wake up looking this good, etc, etc). I digress, in addition to my personal love of sassy t-shirts I love seeing other folks' t-shirts.

Below find a bunch of shirts I've seen over the course of the summer at my second job. (And I think this is about it for second job fodder... I think.)

Shirts I don't like on Kids
Hello My name is Trouble
This is what trouble looks like (with an arrow pointing up)
Nothing, but trouble
(Pretty much any reference to trouble... because it's a self-fulfilling prophecy)

Aren't you glad you're not my parent?
Easily Distracted (on a kid that could have easily had a learning disability. Not cute.)
You look like my next girlfriend (on a fat boy that was too old for it to be cute, but too young to buy his own clothes, so you know his parents bought it. Again, not okay.)
Do I look like I care (On a 13 or 14 year old. Um... if you're not old enough to support yourself, you don't have a right to care or not care)
Diva (written across on a little girl's butt)
Dancer (written across a little girl's butt)
Aerie Fit (on an obese child. I'm sure it's some sort of name brand, but the word "FIT" doesn't need to be emblazoned across your 300 lb six year old's breasts... it's just WRONG)

Shirts I don't know if I like or not
Gimme Some Suger
I see you talking, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah

Shirts I think are adorable (on small children)
Part Time Super Star
My parents are EXHAUSTED
I still live with my mom
This is how I roll (with a picture of a tootsie roll on it)
Dr. Suess Thing 1, Thing 2 and Thing 3 shirts on brothers and sisters

Grown folks shirts that are funny to me
I don't know Karate, but I know Karazy
Don't act like you don't want some of this (always on a wack dude)
I represent the Street (with a picture of Sesame Street characters on it)
Respect my peeps (with pictures of baby chicks on it)
Keep staring... I might do a trick (I need this shirt in my life)

So... what are the best/worst/funniest t-shirts you've ever seen? (And you don't HAVE to include the explicit cancun/miami spring break shirts. We've all seen them, they're not really funny.)

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Question of the Day: Secondary Income

So I learned from my second job that I NEED a secondary income. We all do. The hourly working thing as a second gig is doable, but not sustainable. I need to find something else and quick because I only have a few more checks rollin' in from my second job. I've become accostomed to getting paid every week.

Most wealthy folks have several forms of income and I'm trying to be wealthy (i.e. in case you didn't get the memo, this is not a game.)

So I thought I'd poll my lovely friends and Tea & Such readers to see what you all are doing for secondary income:

- Do you work at the mall, a city attraction, a boutique or some other hourly wage job?
- Are you an alley mechanic?
- Jewelry maker?
- Wedding caterer?
- Party promoter? Side question: How much money can you really make doing that anyway... I'm not trying to be funny... genuinely interested?
- Do you do one of the pyramid side hustles: Mary Kay, Lia Sophia, Pre-paid legal, 5 Links? (P.S. I'm not interested in any of these, so don't ask me)
- Do you have rental properties in the city? In a college town?
- Are you stictly white collar and investing into the stock market for extra funds?
- In what other lucrative things are you investing?

Speak up folks, what's your side hustle?

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Cute/Insightful: More lessons from my second job

So despite all the crazy I saw over the past three and a half months there were two things I saw that were downright precious (and one insightful thing) and I just had to tell someone about them.

1. Maybe a month into my summer stint, I was at the door taking tickets and this little girl who couldn't have been 3 yet holds up a little dandelion with both hands. I bend down to talk to her and say "Aw, I see you have a pretty flower." And she shook her head and said "No, it's for you." I go "For me?" (See, had to ask twice, human nature) and she nodded her head. Her mother (good parent, for the record), goes, that's so nice that you're sharing. That was very nice of you.

Um... wow.

This 3 year old who I don't know AT ALL was giving me HER dandelion that she picked herself. She's so young and innocent, she doesn't know that it's a weed. She just knew that it was pretty, she wanted it and more than that she wanted to share it with someone else. You know kids don't like you to take their diapers away let alone have something that belongs to them. I put it in my headband and wore it for the rest of the day as a reminder that is some sweetness left in the world.

2. This girl scout got separated from her group. Stop laughing, yes girl scouts can get lost. She came up to me and started to cry. She was like 10 or 11, so almost my height. Her lip started to quiver and she said "I'm lost" and she began crying. So I look at this girl and say, "Don't worry. We'll find your group." She then hugged me.

***Looks around***

It was awesomely weird. I hugged her back, but who hugs people they don't know? Innocent children, that's who. After she hugged me I then felt responsible for the well-being of this child (like a teacher or dare I say it... parent) and I was baffled that she trusted me enough (as an adult, authority figure, staff member, whatever) to make good on my promise to find her group. Children's innocence. Another lesson from my second job.

The last thing, wasn't precious, but it was insightful and I feel I should share.

3. As I walked through the shark exhibit reminding people to turn off their flash, there were a few scenarios:

a) Guests ignored the sign and my verbal message and blatantly used their flash.
b) Guests heeded the sign and my verbal message and turned it off and kept it off.
c) Guests heeded the sign, but their camera automatically turned the flash back on after a certain time.

While repeating Puedes quitar su flash, por favor. I kept thinking, "It's written AND I'm telling them, why won't they listen?"

Then it occurred to me that God probably has that same thought on a continual basis. When I fail to do what I'm supposed to do as written (in the Bible, of course), God then has to ask me to do it (usually not a welcomed conversation). Sometimes I listen, sometimes I blatantly disregard it and other times, even though I want to do the right thing, it's almost as if my flash automatically turns on.

Thanks, God, for the lesson in an unlikely place.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Tea's Top 10: Things to do in the Chi

These aren't really the top 10 things to do in the Chi. They're more like the top 10 things I see/think about on my way to work and things you [and I] should consider doing as an adult even if you did it already as a child.

10. Go to the Shedd Aquarium
9. Go to the Field Museum
8. Go to the Adler Planetarium
7. Go to the Museum of Science & Industry
6. Go to the Art institute of Chicago
5. Go to the tops of the Sears Tower and John Hancock buildings
4. Take the free trolley
3. Volunteer on all-volunteer day with Chicago Cares
2. Pick a cause, run and/or walk a race for it
1. Walk, run, eat, sit and or have a picnic along the lake by the museum campus in the south loop. It's absolutely breathtaking

(Like Timeout Chicago says, if you're bored in Chicago, it's not our fault)

Monday, September 15, 2008

Real Quick: Cartoon Character

If you had to choose a cartoon character to be me, who would you choose? Or any character (like Batman or Mary Jane or whatever). Be honest, you won't hurt my feelings. Unless you say Olive Oil from Popeye, in which my feelings will be eternally bruised.

This is for a bar crawl we're having at work tomorrow. (I know, I know, important stuff)

Tea's Top 10: Reasons You're a Bad Parent

This is based on my observation of parents at my second job. I'm kinda serious, but these are sort of jokes. Don't go getting your feelings hurt and/or making comments explaining this ish to me and expecting an apology/revised post. I will respond to you with a Womp. AND I'm not going to change my mind when I'm a parent.

I actually only have nine, so if you come up with 10, I'll add to the post.

10. Your child is at the casual family outing dressed for kindergarten graduation, the church play or great aunt millie's funeral. i.e. wearing wedding dresses, tiny baby suits, ruffled socks and/or church shoes when the rest of the family is in khakis and Keds. It's just not right. (thanks Antithesis)

9. You're dressed like a pimp or whore during the family outing.

8. You let your child act a got damn fool explaining that he's gifted. He's NOT GIFTED. He's bad as hell and it's your fault!!!

7. Your adult child is in a stroller.

6. You break rules in front of your kids.

i.e. you tell me you and your kids are not going to stop standing on the rocks because of the safety hazard until the other family stops standing on the rocks. Real mature, grandpa. (When that happened I told dude to stop acting like a 10 year old and just get down like I asked him. He did.)

5. Your children have no manners.

Please and thank you are a given, but they also need to speak to adults and respect people in positions of authority.

4. You curse at your kids [in public, nonetheless] for doing things kids do.

Example: "Jimmy, if you step on my shoe one more m-effing time I'm going to smack the $#!% of our your ignorant @$$. "

3. You curse at other people in front of your kids.

Example: A man who was 8 families behind his own family in line (what the hell was he doing all the way back there anyway) to enter the building cursed at me when I wouldn't let him butt all the people who's tickets I was taking. I said "Sir, you'll just have to wait." He then butt all the people anyway and said "Or you can just get out of the FUCKING way." It was 9:30 a.m., he had a newborn baby on his shoulder and he knocked over 10-12 other people to get into a family photo with a superimposed dolphin. This dude had upset himself and was extra red and angry early in the morning and I couldn't care less. Yeah... I'm not going to miss that at all, but I digress.

2. If your child is obese.

Yeah, I said it. If it's not due to medication, then you're a bad parent. Get up off the couch and make those kids rake the leaves, go for a run, go swimming. Hell, if you just send them outside for 8 hours, they'll lose weight from sweating. Why do you think so many adults are fat? A bunch of them were fat kids and YES, IT'S THE PARENT'S FAULT!!!

1. Your child is on a leash

This ish is really out of control. They have monkey and bear backpacks for toddlers and the tail is actually a leash attaching the child to the parent. Worst than that, they have actual harnesses for children, with no monkey or bear to take you attention away from the fact that a parent leashed a dog -- er -- I mean child. To that I say: Grow a backbone. No way my mom would have put me or my brothers on a leash at any given time. The look she gave us was enough to know better than to be running off all willy nilly.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Event Alert: East Lakeview Arts Fair

Side Note: Tea & Such got a shout out. Thanks BGG!

On to today's topic: I got the below copy directly off the Web site. No need to go doing extra work...

"The Lakeview East Chamber of Commerce is proud to host the 4th Annual Lakeview East Festival of the Arts, under the direction of Erin Melloy, EM Events. The Festival takes place Saturday, September 13 and Sunday, September 14 on Broadway Avenue stretching from Belmont to Roscoe.

Lakeview East is a dynamic and diversified neighborhood community rich in culture, history and the arts. The Lakeview East Chamber of Commerce works hand in hand with their local residents and business owners and is pleased to offer its neighbors and the Chicago land area with one of the premier fine art and craft outdoor festivals.

The 2008 Lakeview East Festival of the Arts showcases over 140 juried artists and features world class original paintings, sculptures, photography, furniture, jewelry and more. The Festival also features entertainment stages where some of Chicago’s favorite musicians will play throughout the weekend.

Let me know if you want to go.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Tea's Top 10: Human Communication Part 2

I want to pause and take a moment to reflect on September 11th, one of the most important days in history... On this day 21 years ago one of the loves of my life was born. HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY SAM. I love you very much. God made this day special when he made you and don't let anyone tell you different!

Now back to Human Communication observations from my second job...

5. Parents don't like to be corrected or reprimanded in front of their children.

If dad says oh look: a beluga whale, when he's clearly looking at a pacific white-sided dolphin, DO NOT correct him at all, let alone in front of his children. That child will forever think the pacific white-sided dolphin is a beluga whale and will probably fail the ACT because of it, BUT he or she will always think his or her dad is smart... and that, dear friends, is what's important.

4. If a rule is broken by one, it must be broken by all. If you mess up this order, you are hated and despised.

Tea says: No food or drink past this area
Guest says: But I just came from in there
Tea says: Well, they let you go on the other side, but you can't come past me with that
Guest says: But my husband/kids/grandfather/stroller/elephant/dog/car keys/ticket/WHATEVER is in there
Tea points to the sign that says no food or drink and says: Eat it, drink it, throw it away or stay where you are, but you're not going in here with food.
Guest says: #$%#%&%& This is nuts, this is bananas, this is republican, this is apples, this is peaches, I can't believe T-H-I-S, these rules are so stupid, Jimmy stop stepping on my m-effing shoe
Tea hears: Womp, Womp, Womp

3. Everyone wants something for nothing.

If regular admission is $25 and you paid $8 for a modified admission, why would you think you can see everything that regular admission includes? Why do you feel discriminated against when I tell you can't go into the places regular admission allows you to go? Clearly, working my second job, I understand how rough the economy is. If you can't afford a day out on the town/family vacation/regular admission, then just don't do it. Don't pay for modified admission then get mad at me 'cause you can't see the damn dolphin show.

2. It's human nature to ask questions twice.

You do it. Yes, you do. I do it. I've figured out that it's just human nature. Go into a gas station tomorrow and ask someone for directions and try not to repeat the question after they've answered it. I guarantee you can't do it. This is a hard lesson to learn and even harder lesson to accept. The examples are endless. No matter how nice of a person you are, 8 or 9 hours of being asked the same question twice is enough to turn anyone into a grouch. And I'm not particularly nice to begin with.

9 a.m.
Guest: Where is the Dolphin show?
Tea: Straight ahead and to your left
Guest: Straigh ahead? And to the left?
Tea: *Smiling* Yes, have fun!

12 p.m.
Guest: How do I get to the whales
Tea: *Pointing* Go down these steps.
Guest: These steps right here will lead me to the whales?
Tea: *Smiles faintly* Nods and points.

5:00 p.m.
Guest: How do I get upstairs.
Tea: Turn left, and walk up the stairs.
Guest: I'm going to turn left and walk up the stairs?
Tea: Stares back at the guest.


1. People, while very smart on their own (with a map, signs and common sense) turn into babbling idiots when the option to ask someone a question presents itself.

Guest: Ma'am where is the bathroom?
Tea: I'm in line for the toilet, so I think it's safe to say we're in the bathroom now.

Guest: How do I get out of the building?
Tea: You mean other than walking out of the doorway that I'm holding open for you?

Guest: Do these stairs go up?
Tea: *Wants to say no ma'am stairs are actually a one-way means of transportation, they only go down and not up* *Tea instead immediately two-ways the managers to see if she can have an early break*

Guest: **Reading STAFF on the back of my shirt** You work here right?
Tea: Sure do.
Guest: Where is the information desk?
Tea: It's right behind you.
Guest: What do you mean behind me? I've never been here before? I don't know where that is? Where?
Tea: You're going to turn your body exactly one hundred and eighty degrees, you'll see a wooden object, we call it a desk and it will say in big, bold, letters "INFORMATION." I-N-F-O...
Guest: You could've just said it was right behind me.
Tea: *Forces her jaw shut and makes a mental note to blog about this ish.*

Have a great day everyone!!!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Real Quick: Remember this

I'm feelin' like the third guy who spoke right now. Too funny!

P.S. Don't miss Human Communication Part 1 below.

Tea's Top 10: Human Communication Part 1

These are the 10 top things I learned about human communication at my second job. For most of these, I'll give just one example per observation, but over the course of three and a half months, observing on average 7500 people per day, please know that my observations are based on hundreds of interactions and while not scientific, IMO, they are extremely accurate.

On a side note, I should have looked into anthropology as a major, minor or somehow tandem study with speech communication. People are quite interesting.

*a bunch of details are changed, so as not to burn bridges with the management.

10. People respond better to visual cues than verbal or written.

Example: There is a theater at my second job, we'll just say it's called the 3D theater. There is a cartoon picture on the entrance of the theater, we'll say it's the Flinstones. NOWHERE on the theater does it say Flinstones, but there is a picture of a Flinstone on the entrance, so guests call it the Flinstones Theater. Said guests then ask me if the movie they paid to see (which is not the flinstones) is playing in the Flinstones Theater and I say no, your movie is playing in the 3D theater (3D Theater is written in LARGE BOLD letters on the entrance), I then point towards what they think is the Flinstones Theater. They then shake their heads and run around looking for the 3D theater surmising that I cannot know what I'm talking about because clearly that's the Flinstones theater I'm pointing to. To that I say [in my head] if you you knew the answer to the question, why in the hell are you asking me.

9. People respond better to written cues better than verbal.

There is one entrance into the buiding. Solamente uno. But people see directional signs that say one attraction is to the left and one attraction is to the right and even though they can only enter the building on the right, they argue with me about whether or not they should be entering there. Like I have some dirty trick up my sleeve to make sure they enter at the wrong entrance and will get gratification from this for the rest of my day. If you ask me where to enter and I say on the right, why would you then ask again if you can go on the left or why you can't go to the left or if I'm SURE you have to go in on the right. I JUST SAID on the right, but the ill directional signage which is WRITTEN is a better cue to them than the answer I just gave.

8. When directions are written, they are followed ONLY when subsequent verbal cues are given.

If a sign says no flash, it doesn't mean one flash or flashes when workers aren't present or flashes at the beginning and end of the exhibit, but not the middle. It means NO flash. So why do I have to come over and tell you and raise my voice at times and say it in Spanish, Por favor, solamente tocar photos sin flash. Puedes quitar su flash, por favor. It MUST mean that even given #9 on this list, people still don't follow written directions.

7. People only respond positively [if at all] when addressed individually.

People think you are talking to everyone except for them. When talking to a large group saying something like "please turn off your flash," no one listens. When I tap an individual on the shoulder and say, "Sir, Ma'am, please turn off your flash." They understand. I wonder what happened to make us wired such that mass messages don't penetrate the brain, but individual messages do.

6. There is not a good word for addressing a child you don't know.

Calling a child Sir or Ma'am is just wrong. Try it. You feel silly, the child is confused, it just doesn't work. When talking to unidentified children you have to say "young man" or "young lady" in order to get their attention, in which case you feel like a third grade teacher. It is uber-weird.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Tea's Top 10: Don't know you've got til it's gone

Let Janet play while reading this post. It was definitely playing in my head, while reflecting on things I missed.

Here are the top ten things I didn't know I had until they were gone. Thank you second job.

10. The weekend: 48 hours of free time, even if you spend it running errands, is better than having to work and having NO time to do anything.

9. New York, Vegas & Miami: All trips I turned down because I had to work. (To my credit I turned them down to save money as well, but hey, it was because of the second job, so it goes on the list).

8. Saturday morning breakfast: Working two jobs I had to pick between a my usual big lazy Saturday breakfast or an extra 30 minutes of sleep. I chose sleep.

7. Free time in the evenings: When you work seven days a week the evening is for rest and sleep. That's it.

6. Free time to blog: (which is why I'm packing three and a half months of observations about my second job into two weeks of non-stop blogs about it)

5. A gym membership: Just like #9 and #8 on this list. I had to choose between 30 minutes to an hour at the gym or more sleep. You already know what I chose. Now that I get my weekends back, I can add my workouts to the weekday AND weekend mix (and maybe drop some of this get-it-right weight... maybe not).

4. The no-kids good life: (This isn't gone, by the way, but I definitely appreciate it more) Seeing all those kids every weekend make me happier every day that I don't have any AND FURTHER let me know what a big responsibility it is to do a good job with those little crumb snatchers when I make a decision to have them.

3. Job security: Every day at the second job a slip of the tongue with a guest or other co-worked COULD have resulted in my termination. As a wage worker, you are oftentimes disposable despite your record and/or tenure with the company. At my 9 to 5, [I think and hope] I'm much more valuable than that.

2. Spontaneity: I'm not particularly spontaneous, but the option to be was stripped away from me. I rarely made it to the last minute get-togethers, barbecues, shindigs or happenings because... I was at work, was leaving work or on the way to work when the opportunity presented itself. Side note: unshockingly enough, I did NOT miss the club.

1. Church on Sunday morning!!! I made an effort to go to evening services, but be for real, most good churches are in the hood. Car-less I had to rely on other people to be willing and available to go with me (so I wouldn't have to take public transit to the 'hood). I did ok, but I cannot wait to get back to AFC every Sunday MORNING on my own schedule.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Tea's Top 10: Things I learned working a second job

Hey folks,

Saturday was my last day at my second job.


***Insert animated praise dance here***


(In unexpected good news I also had yesterday off.) It was a temporary summer position, but they asked me to stay on for the fall (and indefinitely), I said yes (thinking of the money), then reniged (thinking of my physical and mental health and well being). I need my life and my weekends back.

So anyway, this job has been a blessing in more ways that one. I met some cool peeps, learned some important lessons and observed some interesting things. This week (and pretty much all of next) on the blog, will be all Top 10 lists dedicated to (or somehow relating to) my second job.


Today, I'm going to discuss the top 10 things I learned working at my second job:

10. I need a secondary income (more on that in a later post).

9. Nepotism is alive and well.

8. ... an appreciation for wage workers.

7. It actually, as in literally, pays to show up early at an hourly wage job. (Clearly, I didn't just learn this, but it was a good reminder and I appreciate my salaried job that much more now).

6. People are stupid. (More on this on Wednesday and Thursday.)

5. If applications went out to be parents most people would fail. (More on this next Monday).

4. All organizations [large or small, for-profit or not], when ran by people, are disorganized.

3. My paternal grandmother worked two jobs when she was my age (and much longer after that).

2. My mom, who worked endlessly when I was a toddler and she was a single parent, probably taught me more my first three years of life than I've ever learned since.

1. I'm stronger than I typically give myself credit for and my work ethic is second to none.

Friday, September 5, 2008


I started singing this:

When I saw these:

$358... down from $895. One day, family. One day.

Question of the Day: LCDs

Hey folks,

Side Notes: I still can't believe Sarah "beauty queen/hockey mom" Palin was hatin' on community organizers.

And my mom just pointed out that getting captured as a POW doesn't make you president material, John McCain (just like getting shot nine times doens't make you gansta, 50 Cent). What we actually have is a man who failed to run (and a man who failed to duck).


I digress

I have a three part question today, but first some background. I was facilitating a meeting in a conference room and I was talking, giving directions, taking questions and I swivel around in my chair and stop. What do I have before me, but one of the most gorgeous, prettiest, most beautiful pieces of machinery I've ever seen. It was this ginormous flat screen. I stopped talking mid-sentence, caught the drool off the side of my face, then proceeded to ask if anyone knew where this heavenly gadget had come from. No one knew. Back to the meeting.

Anyway, that put the desire for a flatscreen in my heart and on to today's question.

A) What's the best flatscreen on the market?
B) What the best value for my money when buying a flatscreen? (This answer should undoubtedly be different from A, 'cause I'm clearly not buying top of the line with a home purchase on the horizon
C) Is it cheaper to buy now or during Superbowl season (or right after Superbowl season)?

P.S. Peep the JL video post below.

Green Light

I must admit, to be such a huge John Legend fan, I'm a little late with this one. My little brother actually had it as a ring tone before I'd even heard. I guess I haven't been to the fan club Web site enough lately. Yes, I frequent the fan club Web site, no I'm not ashamed.

I'm not a big fan of putting music up on blogs, because when I go to people's blogs I want to read, not watch a video, but this is JL. Gotta do my super-fan-ly duties and promote.

I think the video's hot (but I think everything JL puts out is hot). I don't at all agree with the theme of the song, but you know, everythang ain't for everybody...

Also, I keep trying to figure out what's going on with ol' girl's skirt at 2:37. Does she even have a skirt on? Is that supposed to be an illusion of no bottoms? I dunno, but she's clearly ready to go...

So what's the verdict? Like it, Love it, Hate It?

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Real Quick: Live Blogging during the RNC

Drill baby drill and drill now.
- Michael Steele, leader of GOPAC



Also the governor of Hawaii said that Obama and Biden, because they've never been mayors or governors, have never had executive experience...

What experience then, does that give SENATOR John McCain. I'm so done with these weak arguments...


Oh my. This could turn into a top 10 list.

Guiliani said "If America's lost the war in Iraq who won? Al quaida? Bin Ladin?"

Family... Have we ever seen Al quaida or Bin Ladin in Iraq? Is Bin Ladin not in cave in Afghanistan where we decreased troops to put more in Iraq?


Guiliani then said something to the effect of Republicans cling to their religion. This from a man who is married to his mistress. (Ok, that was wrong, but I'm not erasing it.)


P.S. the republicans are getting some good jabs in at Obama. I won't repeat those here, I'm just saying if you want Obama to be president, you better get to work.


Palin just told all parents of special needs kids that they would have an advocate in the White House. I can dig that.


It is not true that Barack hasn't proposed laws or made reform in the senate. This is crap you're saying Sarah Palin.


Palin, while an excellent speaker herself, keeps talking about how great of a speaker Barack Obama is. Only in America can speaking well be a negative. How the hell else is he supposed to communicate with people?


Ok, here's what I'm thinking:

These conventions of the gangs of America (red vs. blue) aren't doing anything for anyone. They're empty rhetoric that get the electorate fired up, but at the end of the day, I want to see some debates. Palin is a good speaker (and people may not know this, but she's actually running for Vice President, not President). I want to know which candidate is going to take the high road and quit all the bickering, quit with the one-liners (which are funny and nice, but unnecessary). Because don't we ALL care about the country? Don't we all want better (insert noun of your choice here)?

Aren't all republicans for God, against abortion and for cutting taxes?
Aren't all democrats for peace, environmentally friendly and helpful to their brother and sisters (via welfare and the like).

Do we really need to go through these expensive time-wasting campaigns? How can any candidate say they're just like the people when it take millions of dollars to get into office (Have you ever raised a million dollars)?

The truth is the President only has SO much power. If we want things better we have to do them ourselves. Government is not going to make everything all better. The President is NOT going to make everything better. Barack Obama is not going to make it all better. John McCain is not going to make it all better.

At the end of the day, the only question that matters is who do you want to represent YOU to the world?

You already know my answer...

Tea's Top 10: Bare Midriffs

I've been meaning to do this for a while, but some of the atrocities I saw this weekend at work led me to believe that people really don't know better. So, I'm gonna put it out there, in case folks are unclear, about who should and should not have their stomachs out in public.

Some things to note:

- This is a regular-folks list. I can't tell people who make millions of dollars what to do and not do with their wardrobe. All these rules would go right out of the door for me too, if I had a 7-day a week trainer. But I will say, more than likely these celebrities in question won't have their gut (or perfectly sculpted abs) dangling in my face on a CTA bus.

- I'm not talking bathing suits. See #4 on this post, to figure out how not to look a mess in a bikini.

- Most of these are related to having a baby. No, I'm not hating on mothers and no, I'm not going to change my mind after I have kids. I'm just running around here telling the truth, that's all.

- This list is for women. Living in boystown, I could do one for the fellas, but most guys with bare midriffs, don't really succomb to fashion rules, so why bother.

- After reading this you may think I'm wrong, ridiculous or over-the-top mean, but, honestly what did you think before?

So without further adue, here are Tea's Top 10 reasons YOU should not bare your mid-section in public.

10. You have an outtie.

9. You're 25 or older.

8. You weigh 200 pounds or more.

7. Standing straight up your stomach looks like 2 or more krispy kreme donuts stacked on top of each other.

6. You are an elderly Indian woman. I hope I'm not offending anyone, but this cooks my grits. I know for a fact that Saris are supposed to be modest. There's nothing modest about a 70-year-old-gut hanging over beautiful fabric. With all due respect, please tie your Sari modestly or buy the one that's a shirt and a skirt and stop putting the rest of us through this anguish.

The baby-related section...

5. You have stretch marks due to losing weight, gaining weight and/or having a baby.

4. Your C-section scar is showing.

3. Your stretched tattoo is showing.

2. You have a child at all.

Despite # 2, people will still bare their midriffs. The #1 reason you should not be showing your stomach is:

1. If you've had a baby in the last 6-12 weeks. There's no reason for anyone but your husband to be subject to your post-birth residue. (Yes, I just called after-baby-fat residue.)

Monday, September 1, 2008

Tea's Tangents

1. Is it me or is Kanye's verse on "I Put On" WAY too short. Man, I can just play that over and over again.

2. I was sitting in my office dancing to the aforementioned song and my co-worker walked by. We both tried to act like he didn't see me, but I'm sure he did. He's the same dude who walked by and saw me refreshing my deodorant one day. It's a good thing I'm his manager, otherwise I'd be embarrassed. LMAO!

3. I went to a family reunion a couple of weekends ago and not ONE person asked me when I was going to get married, nor when I'm going to have kids. It's like they've been listening (or reading my blog). Either way it was like familial heaven!

4. I was sitting at work one day and got an email from IT saying that everyone in IT's email was out of order and that they were working to fix the problem. Please re-read that. Yes, I got an EMAIL from IT explaining the problem...

5. I went to the club with my mom tonight... I feel I must expound

a) A wedding she went to earlier in the day had an afterparty (after the formal reception) at the club:

1. I kind of like the idea
2. I kind of don't like the idea (hmm... maybe more on this in a later post)
3. Even I can digress during a digression

b) My mom was pretty fly in her Joe Jeans.

c) We got half off admission due to her flyness. Thanks mom!

d) Mom got more action than me at the club. Which is the EXACT reason I stopped letting her go to the mall with me and friends in grammar school. Oh well.

e) There is a hell of a lot of cursing in music. I couldn't really sing along today... you know, with mom being there and all.

f) She kept asking me how I knew so many people. Clearly, I'm a clubhead mom. Sheesh!

g) Despite being pretty overprotective of her, I was glad she went and had a good time.

h) Showing up at the club (i.e. worked eight hours, went straight to a bbq, then to the club, with a cotton maxi dress, flips flops and ZERO make-up on) is MUCH more fun than planning to go to the club: I couldn't care less what people thought about my outfit, my feet don't hurt, my pores aren't clogged and I don't have that little line on my stomach where my skirt, pants or shorts would have otherwise cut off my circulation. All in all a good night!