Monday, September 22, 2008

Weekend Recap!!!

This weekend was [exhausting and] off the chain. I'm going to start with a brief recap, then I'll provide commentary on AntP's wedding. This is a long post, but it's Monday and you don't really want to do all that work you left on your desk Friday afternoon anyway, so go ahead and read it all.

Thursday night - Went to a bar, spelled Adewale Ogunleye (who doesn't know how to spell that, lol) and won free Bears tickets!

Friday - Day off work!
8-11 am - Wait for Comcast, sit with Comcast dude while he installs my cable
11am-2pm - Go to work (I know, I know, but my team had an event in Chicago that day, it'd look bad for the manager [me] to not be there)
2-8 pm - Shop for something to wear to Gary's morning wedding and AntP's afternoon wedding (Yes, I had two weddings in one day and shopping in 6 hours for a wedding outfit is difficult, but your girl has skills!)
9pm - Travel to the south side to get my cousin's car, so I wouldn't have to go get it in the morning.
10:30pm - Retire.

Saturday - 7am Wake up, shower, do my hair
8am - Go pay the meter
9:15am - Travel FAR SOUTH to Gary's wedding
9:50am - Get to the church way to early for a 10:30am wedding (better early than late, I say).
9:51am - Kill an Otis Spunkmeyer muffin.
10:00am - Go inside, find out the wedding doesn't start til 11am, silently curse everyone who operates on CP time (I'm a punctual person in case you didn't know).
SIDE NOTE: If you think you're going to be late for my wedding, don't bother coming. Your feelings will be thoroughly hurt when you can't get in. Just go straight to the reception, no hard feelings.
11am - Wait
12pm - Wait
12:30 - Run to the car and get accosted by church folks as to whether or not I'm making a food run
12:45 - Wedding starts
1:15 - Bride walks in, Tea walks out (it was a clean break, cause everyone was standing)
1:20 - Stop at Popeyes and kill a mini Delta and a biscuit
1:30 - Get to P's wedding
1:31-9pm (P's wedding and reception, see that commentary below)
9-11pm - Recover at Thummyb's and Kel's cribs
11pm - 2am THE CLUB

Bears game. We lost. 'Nough said.
Now that the weekend has been recapped, here's Tea's commentary on P's wedding. So much to say, so little blank space.


1. It was "unfortunately classy." I mean, this is a dude that named his wedding "racial-epithet-fest 2008." I was anxiously awaiting debauchery and lude comments from the groomsmen. Not so. It was a total EBP affair.

2. When I came in the groomsmen were leaning and rocking with it.

3. When AntP walked in with the minister and his best man, the crowd started cheering like we were at a concert. It was legendary.

4. It only started forty minutes late, which Brad and I simultaneosly noted was good for a BP affair, E or not.

5. The bride, who was beautiful by the way, was taunting the groom while he did his vows. She was mouthing stuff like "LOOOOOOOVE ME" and "FOR-E-VAH" to him. I guarantee you've never laughed this hard at a wedding.

6. There was a dude in the wedding named Big Chris who made Big Mike look skinny.

7. The wedding was Hollywood themed. i.e. the bridesmaids had on Sparkle-inspired [please google the movie Sparkle, if you don't know what I'm talking about] red dresses with black gloves and the bride walked down a red monogrammed carpet. I'm a little touched that I didn't think of this first.


8. The reception was immaculate... straight off TLC or WeTV, red and white hotness.

9. The wedding planner annouced the fellas were walking in in "Michael Jeffrey Jordan's finest." Yes, they wore Jordans at the reception. It was hot!

10. There were wedding crashers, which was HILARIOUS!

11. Kenya and my cuz had thee BEST commentary, and I came in as a special correspondent as needed. For example:

Kenya: Evelyn, we're live at AntP's wedding and the non-alcoholic drink of choice is "tropical fruit punch." We're taste testing now to see if this is Wyler's or if it is, in fact, red Kool-aid.
Tea: I've got a special report, annouce me in, announce me in
Kenya: Tea just in with this special report, Tea
Tea: Neither Kool-aid nor Wylers, has that *insert tongue ticking noise here* kick that Hawaiian punch has. The reports aren't in, but with a *tongue tick* kick like this, it's safe to say, we're drinking Hawaiian punch.
Evelyn: Don't be fooled by the hype. This is Tahitian treat. Back to you.

12. The toasts were hilarious as expected:

ChrisP (best man): You've always been there for me, some other endearing stuff... crying by the brothers, the bride and pretty much everyone woman in the room
S.A.: ...I'm not gonna cry like your brother, but you're my boy and I'm happy for you
Big Mike: ...AntP tripped into Ella and got lucky

13. I met Dion and Big Mike's moms. The three of us discussed Mike's wedding, how it should happen soon, what the colors should be, location, favors, etc. Mike's pretty much out the game.

14. P started footworkin' mid reception and Reese's girl served him his drank boxing-corner style.

15. Reese's girl also requested Nuck if you Buck and "any song just like it." She ensured the perplexed DJ that the groom and his guests would enjoy it. We did and you should have seen the ignance that ensued when Marco Polo came on.

In closing, the reception started at 4 and wrapped at about 9pm. It was everything a WY affair should be. Congratulations to the happy couple!

P.S. Saw the newlyweds at the Bears game yesterday. That's how you celebrate a marriage, right there! I'm gonna have to plan my wedding around football season. It's too much pressure to get married AND focus on the Bears.


Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

accosted by church folk, least they didnt ask for mone

and i hait waiting on the cabnle folks - next time install yourself - lol let me not corrupt u

ThummyB said...

I am loving the dinner table play by play. You all are so so silly.

You are so good to have waited that long for the early wedding. I think I would have had to bounce after an hour. You have my house could have chilled and watched tv.

Kismet said...


My faves:

"The bride, who was beautiful by the way, was taunting the groom while he did his vows. She was mouthing stuff like "LOOOOOOOVE ME" and "FOR-E-VAH" to him. I guarantee you've never laughed this hard at a wedding. "

Damn right.

And the football game afterwards. That's the kind of chill hotness that makes a marriage last forever.

Jordans though? Hmm.....Only AntP & Co. could pull THAT off!

PhlyyGirl said...

That seems like it was the best wedding ever. I'm loving that the grooms party came in with J's on. Heck, the bride should have too. They really could have cut a rug then. Aww but it looked beautiful though. Congrats to the happy couple.

I'm over here dying at the groomsmen leaning and rocking though. Ha!!!

KD said...

Is it bad that I still LMAO when thinking of the colorful commentary in which we engaged. I forgot about the *tongue tick* LOL Good times!