This is based on my observation of parents at my second job. I'm kinda serious, but these are sort of jokes. Don't go getting your feelings hurt and/or making comments explaining this ish to me and expecting an apology/revised post. I will respond to you with a Womp. AND I'm not going to change my mind when I'm a parent.
I actually only have nine, so if you come up with 10, I'll add to the post.
10. Your child is at the casual family outing dressed for kindergarten graduation, the church play or great aunt millie's funeral. i.e. wearing wedding dresses, tiny baby suits, ruffled socks and/or church shoes when the rest of the family is in khakis and Keds. It's just not right. (thanks Antithesis)
9. You're dressed like a pimp or whore during the family outing.
8. You let your child act a got damn fool explaining that he's gifted. He's NOT GIFTED. He's bad as hell and it's your fault!!!
7. Your adult child is in a stroller.
6. You break rules in front of your kids.
i.e. you tell me you and your kids are not going to stop standing on the rocks because of the safety hazard until the other family stops standing on the rocks. Real mature, grandpa. (When that happened I told dude to stop acting like a 10 year old and just get down like I asked him. He did.)
5. Your children have no manners.
Please and thank you are a given, but they also need to speak to adults and respect people in positions of authority.
4. You curse at your kids [in public, nonetheless] for doing things kids do.
Example: "Jimmy, if you step on my shoe one more m-effing time I'm going to smack the $#!% of our your ignorant @$$. "
3. You curse at other people in front of your kids.
Example: A man who was 8 families behind his own family in line (what the hell was he doing all the way back there anyway) to enter the building cursed at me when I wouldn't let him butt all the people who's tickets I was taking. I said "Sir, you'll just have to wait." He then butt all the people anyway and said "Or you can just get out of the FUCKING way." It was 9:30 a.m., he had a newborn baby on his shoulder and he knocked over 10-12 other people to get into a family photo with a superimposed dolphin. This dude had upset himself and was extra red and angry early in the morning and I couldn't care less. Yeah... I'm not going to miss that at all, but I digress.
2. If your child is obese.
Yeah, I said it. If it's not due to medication, then you're a bad parent. Get up off the couch and make those kids rake the leaves, go for a run, go swimming. Hell, if you just send them outside for 8 hours, they'll lose weight from sweating. Why do you think so many adults are fat? A bunch of them were fat kids and YES, IT'S THE PARENT'S FAULT!!!
1. Your child is on a leash
This ish is really out of control. They have monkey and bear backpacks for toddlers and the tail is actually a leash attaching the child to the parent. Worst than that, they have actual harnesses for children, with no monkey or bear to take you attention away from the fact that a parent leashed a dog -- er -- I mean child. To that I say: Grow a backbone. No way my mom would have put me or my brothers on a leash at any given time. The look she gave us was enough to know better than to be running off all willy nilly.