Thursday, September 11, 2008

Tea's Top 10: Human Communication Part 2

I want to pause and take a moment to reflect on September 11th, one of the most important days in history... On this day 21 years ago one of the loves of my life was born. HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY SAM. I love you very much. God made this day special when he made you and don't let anyone tell you different!

Now back to Human Communication observations from my second job...

5. Parents don't like to be corrected or reprimanded in front of their children.

If dad says oh look: a beluga whale, when he's clearly looking at a pacific white-sided dolphin, DO NOT correct him at all, let alone in front of his children. That child will forever think the pacific white-sided dolphin is a beluga whale and will probably fail the ACT because of it, BUT he or she will always think his or her dad is smart... and that, dear friends, is what's important.

4. If a rule is broken by one, it must be broken by all. If you mess up this order, you are hated and despised.

Tea says: No food or drink past this area
Guest says: But I just came from in there
Tea says: Well, they let you go on the other side, but you can't come past me with that
Guest says: But my husband/kids/grandfather/stroller/elephant/dog/car keys/ticket/WHATEVER is in there
Tea points to the sign that says no food or drink and says: Eat it, drink it, throw it away or stay where you are, but you're not going in here with food.
Guest says: #$%#%&%& This is nuts, this is bananas, this is republican, this is apples, this is peaches, I can't believe T-H-I-S, these rules are so stupid, Jimmy stop stepping on my m-effing shoe
Tea hears: Womp, Womp, Womp

3. Everyone wants something for nothing.

If regular admission is $25 and you paid $8 for a modified admission, why would you think you can see everything that regular admission includes? Why do you feel discriminated against when I tell you can't go into the places regular admission allows you to go? Clearly, working my second job, I understand how rough the economy is. If you can't afford a day out on the town/family vacation/regular admission, then just don't do it. Don't pay for modified admission then get mad at me 'cause you can't see the damn dolphin show.

2. It's human nature to ask questions twice.

You do it. Yes, you do. I do it. I've figured out that it's just human nature. Go into a gas station tomorrow and ask someone for directions and try not to repeat the question after they've answered it. I guarantee you can't do it. This is a hard lesson to learn and even harder lesson to accept. The examples are endless. No matter how nice of a person you are, 8 or 9 hours of being asked the same question twice is enough to turn anyone into a grouch. And I'm not particularly nice to begin with.

9 a.m.
Guest: Where is the Dolphin show?
Tea: Straight ahead and to your left
Guest: Straigh ahead? And to the left?
Tea: *Smiling* Yes, have fun!

12 p.m.
Guest: How do I get to the whales
Tea: *Pointing* Go down these steps.
Guest: These steps right here will lead me to the whales?
Tea: *Smiles faintly* Nods and points.

5:00 p.m.
Guest: How do I get upstairs.
Tea: Turn left, and walk up the stairs.
Guest: I'm going to turn left and walk up the stairs?
Tea: Stares back at the guest.

AND THE NUMBER ONE HUMAN COMMUNICATION LESSON I LEARNED AT MY SECOND JOB IS (to my credit I already knew/believed this):

1. People, while very smart on their own (with a map, signs and common sense) turn into babbling idiots when the option to ask someone a question presents itself.

Guest: Ma'am where is the bathroom?
Tea: I'm in line for the toilet, so I think it's safe to say we're in the bathroom now.

Guest: How do I get out of the building?
Tea: You mean other than walking out of the doorway that I'm holding open for you?

Guest: Do these stairs go up?
Tea: *Wants to say no ma'am stairs are actually a one-way means of transportation, they only go down and not up* *Tea instead immediately two-ways the managers to see if she can have an early break*

Guest: **Reading STAFF on the back of my shirt** You work here right?
Tea: Sure do.
Guest: Where is the information desk?
Tea: It's right behind you.
Guest: What do you mean behind me? I've never been here before? I don't know where that is? Where?
Tea: You're going to turn your body exactly one hundred and eighty degrees, you'll see a wooden object, we call it a desk and it will say in big, bold, letters "INFORMATION." I-N-F-O...
Guest: You could've just said it was right behind me.
Tea: *Forces her jaw shut and makes a mental note to blog about this ish.*

Have a great day everyone!!!

6 comments:

antithesis said...

i guess i have to believe this because honestly, who could make this stuff up. people are STUPID!

Que.P said...

I don't think you and i could ever work for the same employer in an atmosphere sure as this.

My fav line, "this is republican"!

Brown Girl Gumbo said...

Great list as usual!! :-)

LOL@ "do these stairs go up?"

blackstar said...

I am over here ROLLING! This is my favorite one: Guest: Do these stairs go up?
Tea: *Wants to say no ma'am stairs are actually a one-way means of transportation, they only go down and not up* *Tea instead immediately two-ways the managers to see if she can have an early break*

YES! I LOVE IT!

Kismet said...

"You're going to turn your body exactly one hundred and eighty degrees, you'll see a wooden object, we call it a desk and it will say in big, bold, letters "INFORMATION." I-N-F-O..."

T, I can actually hear your voice in my head as I read that. And I was LMAOOOOOO accordingly....

kay* said...

OMG this is sooooooooooooo funny - and so true!