These are all quotes from my boy Mike. If you think I'm funny, this dude will have you in stitches. Oh, and on the rare occassions we get a chance to roast together, it's MADNESS. Anyway, Big Mike, this one's for you.
Mike: "Hey big pimpin'"
Me: "I am NOT a pimp"
Mike: "Oh... um... excuse me... I'm sorry... Hey, big dater"
"If Lovie Smith was running for President, you'd definitely be in jail right now."
- Big Mike in reference to the "Really Lovie" post
"This is a rule for women AND men. Your clothes, should not fit... your rolls.
- Big Mike on the rules of being big
- Big Mike (in general)
"My #$%^ is straighter than Indian hair"
- Big Mike on why he refuses to wear skinny jeans and/or do other things that would indicate that he was homosexual.
"My boy Bill Mahr is an equal opportunity asshole."
- Big Mike on political comedy
"She look like 'got damnit I bite'"
- Big Mike on how ugly some chic was
"AntP tripped into her and got lucky"
- Big Mike's toast describing AntP's road to marriage
"Because I don't trust you. You're like Martha Stewart of setting dudes up. And you wouldn't even mean to do it."
- Big Mike on why I don't need to form a bond with his girl
"Ma'am it doesn't really matter what you say to me, due to your funky ass attitude there's going to be a 2-week hold on your pay"
- Big Mike at work
"However, I would suggest only having top quality hoes at your special event, that way they only add to the glamour of the occasion."
- Big Mike on inviting hoes to weddings