Monday, September 29, 2008

Mike's Quotes

These are all quotes from my boy Mike. If you think I'm funny, this dude will have you in stitches. Oh, and on the rare occassions we get a chance to roast together, it's MADNESS. Anyway, Big Mike, this one's for you.

Mike: "Hey big pimpin'"
Me: "I am NOT a pimp"
Mike: "Oh... um... excuse me... I'm sorry... Hey, big dater"
Me: "WAZZUP!!!"

"If Lovie Smith was running for President, you'd definitely be in jail right now."
- Big Mike in reference to the "Really Lovie" post

"This is a rule for women AND men. Your clothes, should not fit... your rolls.
- Big Mike on the rules of being big

"I'm healthy"
- Big Mike (in general)

"My #$%^ is straighter than Indian hair"
- Big Mike on why he refuses to wear skinny jeans and/or do other things that would indicate that he was homosexual.

"My boy Bill Mahr is an equal opportunity asshole."
- Big Mike on political comedy

"She look like 'got damnit I bite'"
- Big Mike on how ugly some chic was

"AntP tripped into her and got lucky"
- Big Mike's toast describing AntP's road to marriage

"Because I don't trust you. You're like Martha Stewart of setting dudes up. And you wouldn't even mean to do it."
- Big Mike on why I don't need to form a bond with his girl

"Ma'am it doesn't really matter what you say to me, due to your funky ass attitude there's going to be a 2-week hold on your pay"
- Big Mike at work

"However, I would suggest only having top quality hoes at your special event, that way they only add to the glamour of the occasion."
- Big Mike on inviting hoes to weddings

5 comments:

BIG MIKE said...

I'm not really sure if I like the picture you're painting of me, but since you use such beautiful colors I'll accept it. To those who don't know me, I'm really not that bad...I promise.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

LMAO


at straighter than indian hair

Reese Johnson said...

"However, I would suggest only having top quality hoes at your special event, that way they only add to the glamour of the occasion."

I am saying now, due to this comment, my wedding will be the event of the decade

TatooTuesday said...

If you think this is funny, think of the shit Mike says when only the men are around!

Kristen Nicole said...

You should start a Twitter stream just for Big Mike's quotes. They're too hilarious.