Below find the top 10 problems I had with people's attire at the club last night. Yes, I was bored enough to spot all of these problems and remember them. And peep the post time, Yes, in lieu of going to bed, I decided to write this immediately. Don't hate.
10. Wearing rhinestone shoes with a cotton dress... WHY!?!?!
9. Wearing sunglasses in the club (it bears repeating)
8. Wearing a motorcycle jacket when you don't have a motorcycle
7. Wearing Bill Cosby sweaters, even if they are a name brand
6. Dudes wearing smedium shirts, but not even on purpose. Like they put their shirt in the dryer by mistake and put the shirt on, then left the house, like oops, I guess I should have worn a longer shirt.
5. A cotton rock-a-wear tube top one-piece short set (actually it was some fake brand, but it could have and should have been rock-a-wear) with leopard sandals (the shoes were actually cute though, just not with that makeshift jogging suit).
4. Putting your intimate fat on public display. What's intimate fat, you ask. Well people can look at someone and see she's big, but half the chicks tonight decided we should all play a game called how many yards of fabric do you think she has between those rolls? That, my friends, is intimate fat. That SHOULD be between them, God and their bed sheets. The rest of us didn't deserve that. WEAR LOOSER CLOTHES!!!
3. Super short, flimsy fabric, skin tight dresses. They're not cute on ANYONE. Tell a friend.
2. Furthermore, wearing a skin tight dress when your skin is NOT tight. I saw two H.A.M.S walk past the club and I was so happy that they were going to another party. [I don't like wack looking people to be in the same place I'm partying. It sends the wrong message to onlookers.] They both had on itty bitty dresses, but they were overweight and spiling out of them. Complete with panty lines showing (cause I guess they thought it best not to wear a thong) and then the fat spilling over the tops of their panties (cause frankly it had no where else to go) and their feet packed up into some stillettos like people pack onto a 146 CTA bus during the morning rush hour. Then, much to my dismay, they turned around and came to go where I was going. ICK! The moral of this story is, if you MUST wear a skin tight super short dress... how about you spend six serious months at the gym first. How 'bout that?
And the number 1 problem I had with people's attire last night is:
1. A white blazer with Jeans and a button down shirt... Usher called, he'd like 2003 back.