Happy Monday folks. Now that you're back at work and procrastinating already let's talk about the office. Every office is different, but we all use business jargon. Though I use these little sayings, and they prove purposeful and useful, generally speaking, they tend to annoy the hell out of me.
Here are my top 10. Feel free to add the ones from your place of business.
10. Moving Forward/Going Forward
Tea's translation: You've effed up, next time get it right
9. Areas for growth/development
Tea's translation: Places where you should generally just stop effing up
8. Key Learnings
Tea's translation: A 'key learning' is a place where 1) we should stop effing up as a team or 2) we told someone it wasn't going to work in the first place, but they didn't believe us and made us do it anyway and now we have to explain for the second time why it didn't work and why it won't work in the future
7. Realized favorability in the budget
Tea's translation: We have a lot of money left over
Tea's translation: Too expensive
5. Sounds good
Tea's translation: Ok
Side note: Where I'm from, the phrase 'sounds good,' is not a positive phrase. For example in a sentence: "He's talking a good game and it 'sounds good,' but he's not backing it up with anything." So imagine my disgust when I'm at work and about 2 years ago this little phrase catches on to mean, ok, got it, I understand, I'll handle, I'll do, etc. IR-RI-TA-TING!
4. Double entendre
Tea's [ENGLISH] translation - Pun OR Play on words
3. Take the charge as in "Tea, can you take the charge on this project?"
Tea's translation: Do it.
Tea's translation: I don't know how the hell else to end this note and "Sincerely" is way to stuffy so I'll just put one annoying word here that really doesn't mean anything, followed by a comma before signing my name.
Tea's translation: Now
Jargon Example: We've realized favorability in the 2008 budget. A key learning we can take from this is that we'll have more space for other projects in the future. Tea, can you please take the charge on revising next year's budget?
Tea's translation: We effed up this year, stop effing up immediately, Tea, start fixing the ish for next year now. That's all I have to say.