Thursday, August 7, 2008


So, you know how when you're dating an average looking or ugly person (c'mon, don't front like you've never dated an ugly person). Anyway, when you're dating them, they pretty much get one, maybe one and half mistakes before you dismiss them. But when you're dating a wonderful-looking person you throw him or her several passes before you finally call it quits, 'cause let's face it, you enjoy looking at them.

So, latley I've been told by more than one person in more than one setting that I'm "difficult" in more than one way. Clearly, a difficult person, would argue that he or she is not difficult with the person or persons that made the accusation(s), which is exactly what I started to do, which, then proved to me, that I am, indeed, difficult.

So THEN it hit me like a ton of bricks. The same pretty boy pass I've been giving out without abandon, has bomeranged right back to me. Men have been willing to let me be difficult for the same reasons I let wonderful-looking men get away with little annoying BS. Hilarity.

And, in honor of my small epiphany... Here's something a wise older black woman told me to read. I am not going to make any commentary on it (or at least, I'm going to try very hard not to). I'm just sharing, because if I'M difficult, then any and all of these things could be true. LOL!

Top Ten Reasons Why it's Hard to Date a Black Woman
To read full article: Matthew Lynch

1. Black women make black men feel under appreciated, unwarranted and irresponsible and regressive.
2. Black women are too aggressive and no longer patient in waiting on the pursuit of a man.
3. Black women are strong headed, too independent which presents great challenges in relationships.
4. Black women are masculine in that they are controlling and like to run the relationship.
5. Black women expect too much. They are gold diggers who will not look twice at a blue collar black man.
6. Black women are hot headed and have bad attitudes.
7. Black women stop caring about their appearance after a certain age.
8. Black women are not as sexually open as other races, especially in regards to oral sex.
9. Black women’s tolerance is far too low; they are no longer empathetic to the black man’s struggle in white America.
10. Black women do not cater to their men.


Reese Johnson said...

im gonna give a more legnthy comment when i get to the office...cause that list is some true and mostly false and ill tell u why soon

Kismet said...

T don't be gettin me started this early in the morning. I haven't had coffee yet.....

antithesis said...

now, T, you know better...

T said...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE that the post is SO ignorant that folks won't even comment on it. I'm still not saying anything about it.

But uh... if this Matthew Lynch character, does in fact exist, AND is still alive, I'd like to get him in a room with 10 black, educated, CALM women and see how his self-worth and self-esteem is doing after, I dunno, 90 minutes. or so.

He's also probably ugly. So #11 should be... "I don't date black women because they know an ugly black man when they see one, but the other races have been much more lenient."

ThummyB said...

Yeah - I won't even speak on it. We all know pure non-sense when we read it.

Brown Girl Gumbo said...

Too much ignorance for words.

ThummyB said...

Ok...I will add something to the mix.

Let's just set aside the fact that we already know that list is simply full of inflammatory statements that are meant to generalize and tear down the black woman, as well as to drive a wedge btwn the black woman and the black man. I will instead say that even if any of those statements ring true for you, a man that truly loves you will accept all of you, love you all the more for your faults, and STILL drink your dirty bath water!

I pooo on this 2008 Willie Lynch letter.

TatooTuesday said...

That list is WACK... I mean dude, black women stop caring about their appearance after a certain age... Tomfuckery. Anyways I will only comment on a few of these...

1. Black women make me feel appreciated. The ones that don't, I don't deal with them. As far as black women making you feel irresponsible- you should appreciate a woman who calls you on your shit.

2. I think black women are to patient in waiting for a black man. They're patient because a lot of us are taking too long to get our shit together! Or because we wanna bang every hot piece of ass in the club before we decide damn, she's beenn the shit all along.

3. Black women are independent and strong headed. That is what I love about them. It lets me know that if I get married she won't be following be hind me like a puppy waiting on me to make small ass decisions. I need a woman that in the event of my untimely demise she can take care of the family.

4. Fuckery...

5. Black women want you to work, be a man, not dedicate your life to Xbox, make her feel secure, let her know that her and the family comes first and oh yeah not lie. Blue collar, white collar or hard hat, a lot of black women could care less.

6. Some are like that on the exterior, once you get to know them... Usually that side of her goes away.

7. Shit... Old black women, kept it jazzy. However old white women run to the plastic surgeon and look like Lil' Kim afterwards.

8. Real talk- and I hate to say real talk. This is bullshit. That lets me know the author doesn't have that Mr. Marcus aka Good Sex. A lot of women give in the bedroom what you give. If you're taking her there, you'll have NO problems with a black woman being open with you in the bedroom.

9. Black women identify with the struggle, but the struggle can't be your excuse. That makes you look like a punk. But the better question is the black woman has her own struggle in White America, do you identify with hers?

10. Bullshit, I've been catered to by every black woman I've dated. Even when I didn't deserve it. They cater until you fuck it up or make her feel unappreciated.

TatooTuesday said...

Oh yeah... Chuuuch

Reese Johnson said...

tattootuesday CHUUUUUCH, i was actually writing a list to go for this one but you did it for me and exactly how i would have so that saves me from rushing home to write it lol but i will say one thing. to T that’s an Ad Hominem argument, your number 11 about that man being ugly. that has nothing to do with his argument that has to do with his looks and you my dear are too educated to stoop to that.

love love love in here though that was a good one.