Wednesday, August 6, 2008

An Observation: Why Tea's Single

Hey Folks,

I'm pretty good at making folks feel guilty 'cause Reese FINALLY wrote his piece on "Why Tea's Single." Of course, you can see what I have to say about "taken men" over at his spot. And my bad for the lack of set up earlier.

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Single life must be interesting, I'm not wondering about it just making an observation. Why I am making it is because I get a lot (not being cocky here) of advances from single women, taken women, and women that are somewhere in between. You can que ben 1 now because I'm never leaving my girl for you.

What is going on out there? I realize that a lot of men fall into one of these classifications; married, taken (me), gay, under-educated i.e. hood figure, under employed, thinks they’re too good for black women (another blog on that soon :)), has 4 kids by 3 different baby mamas, in jail, or dead. So that leaves slim pickings for the educated, single, and fly black woman. I'm in no way writing this to talk trash about anyone just what I see.

Chicks are settling out here, they letting cats have the goodies with the promise of something that isn't going to happen. We have to do better. And I'm not just talking about the ladies. I mean the fellahs are slipping as well. I know dudes who are willing to be seriously dating 2 or 3 chicks and then when the ultimatum (spelling?) hits they drop em all and pick up new ones. For the ladies and fellahs, being single and in the field is cool if that’s what you want but choose! Don’t make it seem like you want a monogamous relationship and still trick off on the regular. Or don’t do the single thing and string people along like you want to be committed.

What I am saying in a nutshell is that it’s rough out here if you are single or taken; my perspective is that of a taken man.

Why i ask the question as to what is going on out there is based in the fact that there seems to be a lack of qualms (spelling?) in a lot of men and women out here. My clubbing and social experiences are most times interesting because i try to observe how people act and react to someone saying that they have a girlfriend (or boyfriend) when i speak of classifications of certain men i mean to use that as a basis for a lot of the undesirable archtypes that exsist thus making some brothers who have their stuff together more appealing.

The flip side of that is those that are taken still get advances from women (this is from my perspective but can apply to women as well) who feel that they want some of this positive person if only for one night. Like T said (paraphrasing here), any woman who actually played on her heightened emotions by putting her bid in when she knows that he has a girl, no matter what the circumstances, then YES, she is, INDEED, trifling.

And this isnt to say that any person isnt capable of being trifling (esp us cause i KNOW in my most trifling days i didnt give not a care if a chick had a man) just human and wanting to feel special.

I am in no way being arrogant or saying that “I’m the sh*t” or anything like that but there are too many women out there willing to compromise themselves to feel special to someone who already has someone. That in no way makes any one person at fault, I think it is the climate of our existence at this juncture that makes us this way. We live in an era of instant gratification, if you see something you want it…now, regardless of the consequence and I think that feeling is wrongly applied to our dating habits which leaves a lot of people in the late 20s and early 30s feeling, well, lonely and unfulfilled.

-- Reese

8 comments:

Reese Johnson said...

i really think we silenced em with this one.....im so surprised, not one comment

ThummyB said...

I think there haven't been many comments b/c the piece needs more of a preface.

It took me a couple of sentences to realize that this was Reese's post and not Tea's. Also, I don't recall what the topic is supposed to be, and I couldn't exactly grasp it from the post. Is this an observation on A. Why Tea is single? B. Why most women are single? C. Why single men are flaky?

Sorry family...I got kinda lost on this one, but maybe it just needs to be set up a bit better.

Paris said...

I have to agree with thummyb. You stated the point on that the single life is rough, and stated some reasons as to why, but I would have liked to you get down to the nitty gritty as a "taken man" why the single life is hard for women and/or men.

T said...

My bad for the lack of set up ladies. I added some background.

Reese, I think P's still got questions though.

(Ooh... do I feel an in-person roundtable discussin coming on?)

Reese Johnson said...

i need another set up paragraph in here so here go...

why i ask the question as to what is going on out there is based in the fact that there seems to be a lack of qualms (spelling?) in a lot of men and women out here. my clubbing and social experiences are most times interesting because i try to observe how people act and react to someone saying that they have a girlfriend (or boyfriend) when i speak of classifications of certain men i mean to use that as a basis for a lot of the undesirable archtypes that exsist thus making some brothers who have their stuff together more appealing. the flip side of that is those that are taken still get advances from women (this is from my perspective but can apply to women as well) who feel that they want some of this positive person if only for one night. Like T said (paraphrasing here), any woman who actually played on her heightened emotions by putting her bid in when she knows that he has a girl, no matter what the circumstances, then YES, she are, INDEED, trifling. And this isnt to say that any person isnt capable of being trifling (esp us cause i KNOW in my most trifling days i didnt give not a care if a chick had a man) just human and wanting to feel special.

that was so off the top of the head and i know im going to have to write a clarity blog thats more on point cause i let it fester in my head too long....so look out for the next one. :)

T said...

Cool, I added it into the post where it made the most sense to say. You're basically saying I'm S.O.L. 'cause people don't have any morals out here in these streets.

I hear you.

Brown Girl Gumbo said...

I think I get it - a lot of women are just settling for the crumbs...not by choice necessarily, but there really are not many good guys out there.

Reese Johnson said...

@ brown girl, that could be true, OR a lot of guys realize they dont have to be good to get the spoils :)