Let me give you some background. You all know I have my general and specific thoughts on marriage and infidelity and those conversations sparked conversations about another hot topic: the role of kids in the family. I have yet to form a strong opinion on this one, but I'll present both sides.
Preface: I'm talking about married people with kids.
Kids=Priority #1 POV
On the one hand parents feel like children didn't ask to be in this world, so they need to give them what they need to survive. Which usually includes the basics: food, clothing, shelter and the not-so-basics: gaming systems, $200 shoes, $6,000 pre-school educations AND ALL of the parents time and energy.
These parents feel it is their duty to do whatever it takes to give their children every opportunity at life. And if it means arguing with, divorcing, spending less time with or any other thing to their spouse, they'll do it because the kids are the top priority.
Kids=Priority #2 POV
On the other hand, some spouses feel like the marriage is priority # 1 and everything else (including the kids) is secondary. So if it comes to the husband/wife being happy or the kids being happy, these people are going to pick the spouse more times than not. Now, so we're clear, I'm not talking about ANY sort of abuse to the kids. I'm just saying that the spouses are not willing to sacrifice time (or energy) with each other because jr. has soccer practice. They're not going to sacrifice their love life, nor quality time because of the kids.
These people feel that if making kids happy is breaking up the marriage, they'd rather pay more attention to the marriage. They feel why not have unhappy kids for a season [who will eventually get over it] and keep your marriage in tact, than to end up alone when the kids leave. (Because hopefully, the kids will leave someday).
As you know I don't have a spouse, nor any kids and though usually EXTREMELY opinionated, I've yet to form an opinion on this one. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it, but am curious to hears others' thoughts.
If you have an opinion, let me know:
Are you going to go to work, run behind kids all evening, then commit to spending a set amount of quality time with a spouse?
Are you going to have the kids be less involved (skipping piano, ballet, football and VBS) so you and your spouse can have more time to be together?
Are you going to sacrifice love, sex and all that other ish to make sure the kids go to the best schools and are well-rounded educated individuals who have the best chance of success at life? (Be for real, raising geniuses can be tough on one's schedule).
Are you willing to leave a spouse because you all don't see eye to eye on how the kids are raised? (For example: S/he wants to move to another country and you don't think it'd be good to uproot the kids)
All of that to say what's the #1 priority: the kids or the marriage?