Monday, May 26, 2008

T.T.D.M.P.G.E. Part 3

So I just got in from the club AND it's a holiday AND I took a nap at 8 p.m., so I'm going to be up for a while. What better time than now to write TTDMPGE Part 3. This may be a long on

In case you're a new reader, we've already covered rude boucers,
B$%W$^ at the door, wack DJs, 19 and 20 years olds and mandatory coat check.

And as you can see below, I take requests. Sigh. This may be a long one.

Disclaimer: I had a great time at the club tonight!!!

By request:
1. The tiny a$$ bathroom with like 2 stalls and one sink

Ok, so you're at the club, having a wonderful time drinking like you just got paid and you have to go. But the DJs been playing YOUR SONG for the past 30 minutes and you just couldn't leave the dancefloor. Now you REALLY have to go. You get into the bathroom and surprise, surprise, there's one stall... IN THE WOMEN'S BATHROOM. It's a commonly known fact that women take way more time in the bathroom than men. Even in a not-crowed restaurant a one stall set-up in a mistake. I mean, seriously.

Now if you happen to NOT be the drunk girl, you have to deal with the drunk girl tapping on the door while you're trying to do your business pleading with you to hurry up. You come out and this broad almost throws up on you, then you have to manuveur around her to get to the ONE sink in this bad boy that some prissy girl is already occupying. Seriously, this is enough to make you not drink any beverage when you go out, let alone alcohol.

2. Having you print off your confirmation or show your text message

So we all go to parties that require you to RSVP to get in free before a certain time. USUALLY the party promoters have a list of everyone who's RSVPed at the door. You give your name and they let you in gratis. Cool.

Well some "entertainment companies" By entertainment company I mean: random group of dudes who got together and figured it was a good idea to throw parties and now they want to act like they're the coolest kids on the block...

So anyway, they get together and decide it'll take too much time to print the list of people, so these losers require you to print off your confirmation email before you get there. Now, let's be clear on what's happening here. I'm going to a place that ANY other night of the week I could get in for free, but because you're throwing a party, I now have to pay $20 [to essentially see you and your boys and all the other chics I see every other Friday night, which you might as well do at someone's house, and we have and it's just as much fun...]

Digressing is a disease of mine.

So I have to "pay" $20, but I decided that's unacceptable and will get there early enough to get in free and you want me to print out the confirmation. Dude, do you want my social security number and mother's maiden name too? I mean if you're a "company," don't be so lazy, do the work of a company, which includes more than sending out emails and facebook invites to your party.

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