Monday, May 26, 2008

T.T.D.M.P.G.E. Part 3 continued

That last one was getting too long...

3. Facebook and Myspace messages and emails about a party

Oh, this could be it's own post, but I'll keep it succinct. Not only does everyone collaborate on parties in the Chi contributing to the tapped market, but they also send you an email, text message, facebook event and myspace message about the party from EACH of the collaborators. You've got it folks. I have 12 different messages in 4 different media spaces ABOUT THE SAME PARTY. It's enough to make you not want to go AND delete people from your fb and myspace friends lists. [Both actions I take frequently] I mean, trust me, if it's going to be the hottest thing since sliced bread, I'm sure I'll hear about it without 12 messages...

4. Not having a car

You all know I tend to be very punctual. Me and thummyb are the only people I know like us. Everyone else in my life is always late. Either 5 to 10 minutes late or 2 to 3 hours late, but always late. [Holler if this doesn't apply to you and I'll edit the post]. In every other facet of my life punctuality works to my advantage (work, weddings, church, meetings), but as far as socially, this really puts a damper on my kicking it time.

The problem is that I am always ready to go a LONG time before my ride comes to get me. Tonight, my ride was so late she didn't even make it into the club. I got tired of waiting and took a cab. (I actually had a much better experience tonight than I usually do waiting for a ride, let me just tell you).

Now, truth be told, I told my ride I was ready to go about an hour before I actually was... to get her to kick it into high gear (If you're reading cuz, sorry, love you!) But it didn't do a bit of good. All's well that ends well, but my P.G.E. would be much better if I had a car (well... maybe... because I couldn't really drink like I do if I was driving and the dranks positively enhance a majority of my club-going experiences.)

5. People that don't say excuse me

I understand that the party is crowded, but a blatant disrespect for the fact that I am actually STANDING in the space that you're trying to occupy is infuriating. (Stay tuned on a post about this from a communication professional's perspective) Contrary to popular belief, I've been letting it go lately, 'cause I'm on my grown woman, but it makes me itch and I hope I'm not forced to scratch anytime soon.

6. Short dudes that are infatuated with breasts

Dude, LOOK UP. You are 5'4 and I have on 4 inch heels, so it's already like I'm talking to an 8 year old. Worse than that, my breasts aren't big at all. Find some business PUH-LEEZE.

7. Married Men at the club

[Most of] These dudes are the worse. Without a ring, they're trifing, no explanation needed (but I might write a post on this... stay tuned). With a ring, they may or may not be trifling. Tonight a dude told me that he wears his ring to the club because he justs wants women to know upfront what the deal is... WHA - AT?!?!?!?!

I was like um... yeah, I hear my friends calling me, goodbye. People are a new kind of low and disgusting and the sad part is that someone would have went along with that program. *singing like Prince* I AIN'T THE ONE.

7. Bartenders that act like they're doing you a favor

It's Memorial Day weekend people. Only newcasters and CTA bus drivers have to work tomorrow. EVERYone else was at a bbq or party of some sort tonight. Why in the WORLD would you have maybe 6 bartenders in the whole place (servicing hundreds of people)? Then the bartenders act like they're going to get more tips if they make fewer drinks. Yes, I know your job is stressful, I get that... HOWEVER, I'm not moved by your pain. I'm pretty sure there's not a draft for bartending AND we live in America, so I think it's safe to say YOU CHOSE TO WORK HERE!

Both of my jobs are stressful, but I put on a happy face and do it because guess what, they both pay. Not to mention those severely obese tips they get that they don't always report to the government. Take a chill pill and/or a drink and just make me a martini. Please.

Just for fun:

This doesn't mess up my P.G.E., but I do take note when it happens:

7. Ugly people checking themselves in public mirrors

It's almost like they're like yep... still ugly.


Kismet said...

It's almost like they're like yep... still ugly.


ThummyB said...

HAHAHA! You are a damn fool...making fun of ugly people that way.

Anywho gotta love short dudes staring a little boobies. Sometimes I just want to say "You must really not be getting any if these girls are drawing your attention like that."

Brown Girl Gumbo said...

You are hilarious!!! You should have your own show!! The stuff you say (write) is so funny and I can TOTALLY relate...maybe it's that Chicago connection! LOL

black_sun said...

What about us tall dudes that are infatuated w/ breats? We're cool though right? :(

Reese Johnson said...

7. Ugly people checking themselves in public mirrors

It's almost like they're like yep... still ugly.

im thru