You can read here to find out about recent encounters I've had with men in the Chi and you can read here to find out what an eligible bachelor might look like.
I haven't made up my mind completely (meaning I'm open to your inevitable disagreements), but I'm pretty sure that between me and my girls, the Chicago dating market has been completely tapped. Besides the married, engaged, gay and emotionally unavailable [Not ready to make any commitments] men, I'm going to give a couple examples as to why brothers in the Chi who would otherwise seem available are not really. And in happier news, I'll be spending the summer of 2008 on the East coast, down south and in Texas trying to see if I can make up for the lack of eligibility in the Chi.
1. The EBP crowd in Chicago is surprisingly small.
Example: I met a guy (cutie pie, sweater muscles)... come to find out he lives within a two block radius of me, has seen me at the gym, went on a couple of dates with one of my close friends [way back when] and his close friend tried to holler at me [to no avail] about a year ago at my close friends' birthday party. Now we didn't recognize each of these facts when we first saw each other, but they came up over the next couple of days. Womp. Womp.
2. I've decided not to date any [more] of my friends/associates.
Given the small EBP crowd and the fact that I'm pretty well connected in the Chi, I've decided if I know you already, I'm not dating you. Period. This one's not up for discussion. This significantly decreases the dating pool for me.
This doesn't really need an explanation, but I'll put it out there anyway. I've lost several friends to dating casualties [i.e. think about the guys you KNOW I'm talking about then, multiply that number by 2 or 3].
I mean, these were my boys, my homies, my DAWGS! These guys used to be the male voice of reason in my life, then for some strange reason at different points in my life me and all these different guys started catching feelings for each other. Instead of just flirting a little bit [like normal "platonic" relationships] we decided it would be a good idea to try to be a "couple." [Go ahead and interpret couple in whatever way you see fit] WTF were we thinking?
*Sounding like a character who lived through the shooting in a Boyz in the Hood type of drama* WE CAN'T KEEP LOSING MEN LIKE THIS!
So for those of you who've decided that I'm bogus for having these new "rules" [you know who you are], sorry for ya, but the thought of losing yet another friend over the silliness that often makes up relationships is too much for me. Better safe than sorry.
In fairness, I'd also like to add that women from out of town LOVE the men in Chicago. My girls come in from elsewhere and are like, "Wow, look at all the cuties." I'm like "Who? him? Girl, that's my ex's friend/brother/cousin/frat/play cousin/uncle... do you want me to introduce you? For my out of town homies, I'd encourage you to keep it to a visit or two. Once you move here, you have about 2, maybe 3 years before the well runs dry.
*Logging on to Southwest to see what's good in June, July and August...*