Wednesday, April 30, 2008
2. My Arizona vacation i.e. Operation Desert Storm was so LOVELY that I forgot my password to log on to my work computer. I tried to log on to check my email Sunday night from home and seriously couldn't remember it. I was trying new passwords that I thought I might have changed it to... nothing. I got off the elevator on Monday morning and it came to me like a light. That was God. I asked him to bless my vacation and bless it he did. I had 257 emails on Monday morning, which was about 100 less than what I expected, but it was back to the grind, for real.
3. I swallowed a filling on my birthday. I was sober when it happened, but I didn't feel it at all. All I know is, after eating an avocado spring roll (highly recommended) at Martini Park, I ran my tongue across my tooth and the filling was gone. I went to the dentist and it's not a regular filling, it's an onlay. My doctor (ballin' azz) only uses white gold to fill those and it costs $385. Now she discounted it for me, so it's $250. $250! $250? This is some BS family!
And to make matters worse, I think it came out because I grind my teeth at night. (A sign of stress). It doesn't look like the stress is going away any time soon, so I got a mouthguard. I usually forget to wear it, but last night I got up OUT of the bed to get it and wasn't in its case.
Sad sad situation.
4. I should definitely NOT go to work tired.
Background: I went out for my birthday on a Monday night and honestly have NO IDEA what time I got home. (It's better that way because I can trick myself into thinking I got more sleep than I did.) AND I couldn't really make numbers out on the clock anyway.
Back to the story: When I'm tired at work, I'm CRANE.KEY! Boy! Those little outlook pop-up messages might as well have been mosquito bites on Tuesday because they irritated me to no end. The obscenities that flew out of my mouth would make a sailor blush. Needless to say I kept my door closed all day. I was also in that piece for 13 hours, so by the end of the night, I couldn't even get the curse words to roll off of my tongue. I had to just curse in my head.
5. I really hate when I have to choose between two very important things to do. Today it's paying bills OR cleaning the house (which includes laundry). Usually the decision is more vital like eat OR sleep. It's really rather irritating, but given my work, travel and party schedule of late something has to be cut out. [Y'all already know the house isn't getting cleaned, my good credit rating is more important than stepping over a few pair of jeans. :P]
6. OH SNAP! I'm paying bills online right now while writing this blog entry and my variable interest rate on my private student loan, which ALWAYS goes up and never goes down, just went down for this month's payment. Praise GOD! It's only a few dollars, but that cushion is needed and appreciated! YES!
I LOVE MY GRANDMAS! They are like night and day when it comes to personalities, but it's such a blessing to have them both in my life still. So in the spirit of honoring women, I'm going to go over why the women in my life are that deal.
- They're honest. We were at my little sister's high school graduation in June and while we were walking up my grandma saw something that caused her to utter this statement.
"Ooh, she need some vaseline on her ankles"
Grandma: I'm not trying to be funny, I might have some hand creme in my purse she could use.
Ooh wee! That was worth the whole trip right there.
- Aunties are genuinely interested in your life. I only see most of my aunties on holidays and talk to some of them via email, so when we get together I have to catch them ALL the way up. I mean from Thanksgiving to Easter, I may have taken 10 or 15 trips. And they aren't just trying to make small talk, they really want to know what's up. I can see the sparkle in their eyes and I know they're thinking about what my mom looked like when she had me and how I used to wear little nappy ponytails. They keep me grounded and uplifted.
- Well, this could be a topic all by itself, but my mom is that deal because she's fly in her old age. (Don't tell her I called her old). But my mom is not a sit around and gain weight type of person. No sir, my mom will hit the YMCA up or get her hip hop abs going anytime the stomach's not looking right. Her and Sean T (instructor on the video) put on a Pussycat Dolls song and go to work. She also started eating more fresh food, got a juicer, cut out a lot of junk food and is just plain healthier. She lets me know that many many years down the road, I'm still going to be what's on and poppin'
- My girlfriends are that deal because they are beautiful, successful, mature, humble women. Now people reading this might be like "Did you just call your friends humble?" Indeed, and here's why. While we all know we are that deal and will be quick to tell you what's up, you can often see our humble tendencies in a relationship with a parent, grandparent or significant other. We are the type of women who no matter how successful will always respect our families and our men. A bunch of my girls pull in way more dough than their partners, but so what. They still handle home well and have their priorities in perfect order
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Too much work (at my job, not in the blogosphere)... too little time.
I'm in Atlanta this weekend, then Dallas next week and next weekend, so maybe, I'll have a lot of down time in my hotels to write. *cussing at my outlook popping up telling me there's a new message* I doubt it though.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
So anyway, I figured it was time to come with Part 2 of things that destroy my party-going experience. Here goes...
1.Female b%^%#$ at the front door. Even worse than rude bouncers and door MEN are women who have the look of death on their face at the door. They're tired of men letting all the pretty girls in for free and they were put at the door because the punk azz bouncers couldn't man up and ask for a cover.
Do you really think I want to be greeted by someone who looks like her first, middle and last name is hater? No, not really, I'd actually be less irritated by a Wal-mart greeter at the front door than to deal with that mess.
2. Wack DJs
[I have a feeling I might have to make this its own post, but let's see what I come up with.]
I'm not talking about DJs who aren't playing what you like to hear, because it's possible that he's playing something someone else likes. Nope, I'm talking about DJs who are FEELING themselves too much.
These A-holes are playing JUST 2 seconds of all your JAMZ. I mean they'll cut off the song before the chorus. You can't even get the words "This is MY song" out. They'll play the intro, then play a completely different song and never go back... and to top it all off, they think that they're artists. They think that we came to a concert. We did not.
We came to a club and even though you're trying to "get on" we didn't come to hear you talk on the Mic ALL NIGHT about where you'll be, where you've been, what you do in the morning on the radio, who you are, your mother's maiden name (Timbuktu). Dude, we know WHO you are... and you also happen to be drunk. Shut up and spin.
3. 19 and 20 year olds.
These babies think that because the the bouncer believed they're old enough to be in a club that the rest of us aren't going to notice. Newsflash: we notice. 19 and 20 years olds are the ONLY ones jacking in the club like rabbits who haven't had any in years. They're the only ones who are screaming at the top of their lungs when all the music is off, the lights are on and the club is clearing out. They're the only ones talking about how much they drank and how crunk they're about to get it later... They're the only ones LITERALLY pointing out who'd they'd hit. [True Story} I walked past these fools with a pack of girls and these they're posted up on the wall going "I'd hit her, I'd hit her, Oh she could DEFINITELY get it" Double you tea eff!
Side note: Why do men always have a list of women that could "get it" as if these women would give it to them.
Baffling, but back to the post
4. Mandatory Coat Check
It's FINALLY spring in my city, but when it's cold (which is often in the Chi) I pretty much always check my coat. However, mandatory coat check just means you're going to be in line for a good hour after the party has stopped, messing up your buzz, getting your feet stepped on, being eye-F*@#ed by the obnoxious 20-years olds, And to make matters worse you're being verbally harassed by the DJ, who's still drunk and makes sure you know every address he's ever DJ-ed at, and of course you're STILL getting mean-mugged by the B#$$^%$ from the front door who are now working the coat check, but aren't really doing anything.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Text: Isaiah 40: 30-31
Theme: How to Wait on the Lord
Main Point: Waiting on the Lord means
1) Healthy Evaluations - Think on the things that God has already done for you while waiting for what he's about to do
2) Hopeful Anticipation - You don't know what God's getting ready to do, but you know he's going to do something, so be ready for it
3) Holy Affirmation - Tell yourself everyday that God will keep his promises
I posted this up on facebook after attending midnight service on New Year's Eve at Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago were (gasp) Rev. Jeremiah Wright was the Pastor.
Does this message seem like one of hate or racism? No, it's a message about God, a positive uplifting message that helped me bring in 2008 correctly.
Common also freestyled after the sermon...
Minor hightlight... LOL!
How do I feel about Rev. Wright saying "Damn America"? Well, I disagree with that statement.
How do I feel about him saying America brought September 11th on ourselves? I think that's his opinion. I think many preachers black or white know that America's hands aren't clean and the bible says you reap what you sow. How can we create wars and participate in wars, but never have war on our own soil? Is it sad that so many people died in the attacks on the twin towers? OF COURSE. Is it wrong what Bin Laden and the suicide terrorists did to innocent people? Without a doubt, but that doesn't mean we have to be mute about our feelings about it. I'm sure a bunch of people in Iraq who's innocent family members have been killed by American soldiers in search of Sadam Hussein feel that we're terrorists and that their innocent people didn't have to die.
What Rev. Wright said is HIS opinion and as the Pastor of the church, he shared it with his congregation.
Now, I don't believe in people speaking in tongues without an interpreter, but I go to a church where EVERY Sunday people speak in tongues without an interpreter... Would I take my kids to this church? Absolutely. Would I let the Pastor of this church marry me, baptize my kids, be my spiritual guide? You better believe it.
You say Why T, why would you go to a church where the leader has ideals and beliefs that are different than your own, things that you STRONGLY disagree with? Because there is no way I'm going to find a church home that syncs up 100% with what I believe.
We have freedom of speech AND thought in this country. I don't have to agree 100% with you to fellowship with you or be under your leadership. You don't have to agree with me to lead me in the right direction.
I hope this is making sense because I'm tired of people acting like they don't understand life is not black and white. Life is very much gray. If I went to a church for most of my life and most of what the preacher is saying is good, but every once in a while he makes an off-color statement or something that is in staunch contrast to my personal beliefs, that doesn't negate all the other good stuff he did. Matter of fact, even if one on his core beliefs is in complete conflict with one of my core beliefs it doesn't mean that's not the place for me to learn and grow spiritually.
All the other good stuff he said, all the other good teachings he brought to me are still relevant, poignant and valid.
The problem with this country is that most people ARE uneducated. They can't understand the complexities of most things (which, I would argue, is why they may be in their desperate situations in the first place, but I digress).
Back to the point:
They can't understand the complexities of most things, especially an educated man's decision.
So as an Illinoisan, a Chicagoan and an Obama fan to the end, I stand behind the future president of our great country for rejecting AND denouncing Rev. Wrights anti-patriotic comments, but not distancing himself from Rev. Wright as his Pastor.
For Hillary, McCain and all of the other naysayers I say, it's some dirt on his shoulder, can you dust it off for me?
2. 3 days until Operation Desert Storm - I'm oozing with anticipation and excitement
3. Did you see that facebook now has a chat function? Between my blog roll, gchat and fb chat, I am never going to be able to get any work done EVER again.
4. Tia Mowry got married yesterday to Cory Hardrict. He's from the Chi and I saw them at AMC on Illinois a few months ago. They are the cutest couple! BUT me and my girls were taking pictures of ourselves in the movie theater (because we're fabulous AND vain) and then a chic in Tia's entourage turned around with a disgusted look on her face to see where the flash was coming from. So my fabulous friend was like "naw boo, we were taking pictures of ourselves, not you."
LOLOL! I could laugh for weeks about that statment and the entire experience. Truly one for the books!
5. The workout plan has been going well. Since I started, I've only skipped one day. After Operation Desert Storm, I'm going to cut back to 5 days a week with a floater day, meaning if I do 4 instead of 5, I'm not going to beat myself up about it. Working out 6 days a week is only necessary when training for something in particular or trying to lose weight (which I'm no longer doing).
All the magazines and studies suggest at least 3 half-hour workout session per week to stay healthy, so 4 days a week is still killing the game. (i.e. I'll be healthier, but I won't be losing weight, because from the looks of things, my stomach is determined not to be flat ever again, oh well)
6. Weight loss funny:
Me: Thanks so much for downloading that workout mix for me, now I can hit the gym and enjoy it!
My boy: You are hilarious.
My boy: I just think it's funny when skinny people get exited about working out.
Me: Yeah, but I have an image to maintain. Can you imagine if we were at a reunion and I was 50 pounds heavier than you remember me?
My boy: Pause... yeah, we'd definitely discuss amongst ourselves how badly you fell off... enjoy your workout.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
(Sorry this post is so long, but I think it's worth it.)
Jay and B did the damn thing! I am so happy and excited for them and wish one of their publicists would just quit and do a tell all book (would never happen).
Anyway, rumors are swirling around that Beyonce's pregnant and that's the reason for the super secret nuptials. I could believe that. She's been dodging the paparazzi like crazy and you all KNOW B loves the cameras. You also know the bloggers love to claim folks are pregnant, so if she so much as has indigestion, they'd say she's carrying.
If she's not pregnant, I'm happy they got married. If she is pregnant, then she is added to the scores of people I getting ready to have a conversation about if you keep reading...
If you don't like controversy, please stop reading. Now I'm destined to offend someone with what's about to follow, but I'm not going to apologize for my opinions. I am, however, open to intelligent conversation and if someone says something to change my mind, then I'll reconsider my position.
In 2005 Maryann Reid published "Marry Your Baby Daddy." It wasn't just a fictional novel. No September 29, 2005 was "Marry Your Baby Daddy Day" and 10 couples got married in all expense paid weddings as a part of the promotion of Reid's book. Reid, among many others, [myself included] feel that children have a better chance for a successful life in America in a two-parent household.
Where Reid and I disagree is that it has to be YOUR parents heading that two-parent household. I know a long time ago, if a couple got pregnant, that couple got married. Maybe it wasn't even that long ago, maybe it was the 80s. (I don't feel like doing statistical research right now). But we'll just say for, at least, the past 3 decades, getting pregnant doesn't necessarily mean you have to get married.
WHY THEN in 2008 are people rushing down to aisle because someone got pregnant? I cannot count how many people I've heard about recently doing shotgun weddings. It always goes the same way...
Me: Did you know such as such got married? I didn't even know he/she was engaged.
A friend: Is she pregnant?
Me: Naw, people don't do that anymore... do they?
A friend: You should check into it.
Me (checking into it)
Source: Oh yeah, she's due in [7-8 months after the wedding date]
Really, people? Is everyone in a rush to go to divorce court? They must be, because getting married for the wrong reason (in this case, because of a child) is the easiest way to get there. I'm all about a two-parent home, but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. Sometimes one of the parties involved is an alcoholic, addict, physically and/or emotionally abusive, uneducated or just not financially or mentally prepared for the hardships of marriage.
Newsflash: Marriage is not a cakewalk.
If I get pregnant out of wedlock, should I rush down the aisle and subject my child to the problems that arise from me and the father's issues in a marriage rather than subject them to single parenthood (weeks with me, weekends with daddy and vice versa)? I shouldn't and I won't, but apparently shotgun weddings are what's hot in the streets lately. Apparently rushing down the aisle because you forgot to wear a condom, take your pills or shot or apply your patch is back En Vogue in 2008.
Here are a few rebuttals that I assume people will come up with and what I have to say to them.
1. They were going to get married already
- If that's the case, why weren't they engaged already? Why weren't they married already? Also, if they were going to get married already, what's the rush? Unless someone is terminally ill or going to the military, if you're seriously planning to spend the ENTIRE REST of your life together and happen to get pregnant, why not wait until after she has the baby. You're not fooling anyone (i.e. Solange Knowles).
Now, to be fair, I will say that some people know the baby is going to take a toll on their funds and don't want to be fat and preggers on their wedding day, so they sit down and discuss getting married sooner rather than later for practical purposes. If these people are really serious about being married and don't end up in divorce court, then I'm not really talking about them...
2. My parents got married because they were pregnant with me and it turned out fine
- My parents DIDN'T get married when they got pregnant with me and it turned out better (for all parties involved)
3. Children do better in two-parent households
- Children are more hurt by divorce that single parenthood (in my opinion, but I'm open to statistics to the contrary)
I could go on and on. My point is, the blessing of a child is a beautiful thing, a gift from God that you can't control. But MARRIAGE, MARRIAGE is a sacred event where two become one. In this country, you CAN control who you marry. Just because the sperm and egg came together, it doesn't mean that you are supposed to become one with the person who helped you create that beautiful child. (Depending on who's coulds and shoulds your point of view is taken from, you shouldn't have had to opportunity for the sperm and egg to get together in the first place, but I'm not trying to be the pot...)
I just wish people would think past tomorrow or next year into the serious future. While being happily married will benefit the child, if you got married for the wrong reasons and end up getting a divorce, you're doing more damage to the child than having parents who aren't married would do.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Thursday, Forever XXI had a grand opening on Michigan Avenue (where the Virgin music store used to be) and let me tell you: There are so many cute clothes in there! Of course, you wouldn't want to buy real serious pieces from there, but they have the accessory game on lock and their tees and tanks were like $2, no really, two dollars!
Friday and today (Saturday) there's also a premium denim warehouse sale going on at Navy Pier. $5 to get in, more than 20,000 pieces, 60-80% off (or so they say)
I know what you're thinking I should have told you earlier. Sorry folks. I'll try to do better keeping you posted on sales and promotions. :P I also heard from one of my guy's that Macy's at Water Tower has random shoe sales. He, of course, always tells me on the day of, so that doesn't give me time enough to alert the shopping public. :)
Anyway, this post is to let you all know I met Robert Verdi, host of the fashion police on the Style Network at the H&M event. My girl noticed him walk by, but we dispersed to shop and I ran into him later. I very fabulously tell him "Love You, Love Your Show" (inside joke: reminiscent of EW and SW circa 2006).
So he goes I am pretty fabulous, aren't I? And I go yes, you are. So he's like let me see what you have. He looks over my clothes and said he likes them all and he's like what are you going to get to go with the shorts. Would you like some help? I'm like... Um... YES!
So he helps me pick out a shirt to go with these coral (and might I add fab) booty shorts. He picked this ocean blue basic tank and it is so cute. Totally something I wouldn't wear on my own (which makes the whole interaction worth it). He then suggested an espadrille to complete the look and sent me off to the fitting room.
How cool is it that people pay him to style their outfits and he helped me out for free?
Yeah, this was an awesome shopping week!
instructions: 1. link to the person who tagged you; 2. write a six-word memoir; 3. tag 5 more blogs; 4. leave a comment with 5 more blogs to play.
T's memoir: I am incomparable, thanks of God
Thummyb (who might do it, might not)
Kismet (who won't do it because she's on the grind)
Reese (who won't do it, because that's not what he does)
Arin Maya (see Reese's explanation)
And anyone else I would have tagged was already tagged. :)
Friday, April 18, 2008
Kewl! I'm looking at the waitress like make whatever you want with Ketel One and keep 'em coming. :)
So it was a great time, I get home, try to shake the drunk off me (with some internet surfing and a cheese omelette) and go to bed.
I woke up in the middle of the night EXTRA thirsty, so I grab a glass of water and attempt to go back to bed. However, someone in my building is playing music SO frickin' loud that I can make out the words of the song (and it wasn't a song I knew). I didn't live in this neighborhood last summer, so I was thinking it this really what goes on in this neighborhood on a Thursday night when it's 50 degrees outside in the Chi? I mean, there aren't any bars under my building or anything, so I just could NOT understand why it was so darn loud.
Then I hear a girl scream "Turn your music down." (Think Coming to America with Akeem was singing "To be loved" in the streets and people were screaming "shut-up." It was just like that.)
I look at the clock. It was 4:41 a.m.
Whatever. I'm determined to get the rest of my sleep, so I put the blanket over my head and then I felt like my bed was shaking. I was thinking the party could NOT be literally jumping to the point that my bed is shaking. Then I was like well maybe someone next door is getting a little morning nookie. Then I think no... that couldn't be it because my WALL isn't knocking... my BED is shaking.
So then I get out of the bed with the quickness, turn the light on and grab a knife. I was thinking someone must be in my house. So I'm crawling on my floor like I'm in marines boot camp trying to see who's under my bed. I check my bathroom and closet and find no one.
So then I'm thinking man, I really need to stop drinking...
About 20 minutes later, I hear the police knock on the rude neighbor's door and the music immediately ceased. Finally... I could get some rest.
So sweet dreams for me and then alarm clock comes on to WGCI at 6:30 this morning and the local news segment is on. The newscaster is like "At about 4:45 a.m. you could feel the earthquake in Chicago."
An earthquake? In MY hometown?
That's the best news EVER though, now I don't have to stop drinking. :)
Thursday, April 17, 2008
But in the meantime, here's the cutest wedding dance, I can't say ever, 'cause I'm not married yet and you all know I'm cuter than cute. But it's adorable nonetheless.
(And don't trip on the 5 minutes it'll take to watch it, if you're reading this blog you KNOW you're not doing anything ANYWAY)
Coming Up: How I feel about marriage (today)
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
I haven't made up my mind completely (meaning I'm open to your inevitable disagreements), but I'm pretty sure that between me and my girls, the Chicago dating market has been completely tapped. Besides the married, engaged, gay and emotionally unavailable [Not ready to make any commitments] men, I'm going to give a couple examples as to why brothers in the Chi who would otherwise seem available are not really. And in happier news, I'll be spending the summer of 2008 on the East coast, down south and in Texas trying to see if I can make up for the lack of eligibility in the Chi.
1. The EBP crowd in Chicago is surprisingly small.
Example: I met a guy (cutie pie, sweater muscles)... come to find out he lives within a two block radius of me, has seen me at the gym, went on a couple of dates with one of my close friends [way back when] and his close friend tried to holler at me [to no avail] about a year ago at my close friends' birthday party. Now we didn't recognize each of these facts when we first saw each other, but they came up over the next couple of days. Womp. Womp.
2. I've decided not to date any [more] of my friends/associates.
Given the small EBP crowd and the fact that I'm pretty well connected in the Chi, I've decided if I know you already, I'm not dating you. Period. This one's not up for discussion. This significantly decreases the dating pool for me.
This doesn't really need an explanation, but I'll put it out there anyway. I've lost several friends to dating casualties [i.e. think about the guys you KNOW I'm talking about then, multiply that number by 2 or 3].
I mean, these were my boys, my homies, my DAWGS! These guys used to be the male voice of reason in my life, then for some strange reason at different points in my life me and all these different guys started catching feelings for each other. Instead of just flirting a little bit [like normal "platonic" relationships] we decided it would be a good idea to try to be a "couple." [Go ahead and interpret couple in whatever way you see fit] WTF were we thinking?
*Sounding like a character who lived through the shooting in a Boyz in the Hood type of drama* WE CAN'T KEEP LOSING MEN LIKE THIS!
So for those of you who've decided that I'm bogus for having these new "rules" [you know who you are], sorry for ya, but the thought of losing yet another friend over the silliness that often makes up relationships is too much for me. Better safe than sorry.
In fairness, I'd also like to add that women from out of town LOVE the men in Chicago. My girls come in from elsewhere and are like, "Wow, look at all the cuties." I'm like "Who? him? Girl, that's my ex's friend/brother/cousin/frat/play cousin/uncle... do you want me to introduce you? For my out of town homies, I'd encourage you to keep it to a visit or two. Once you move here, you have about 2, maybe 3 years before the well runs dry.
*Logging on to Southwest to see what's good in June, July and August...*
So immediately after the ceremony, I kept catching eyes with this one guy, who from afar was a cutie. And it was a weird kind of "catching of eyes." Neither of us was really flirting (at first), but both of us kept looking in the other's direction. I couldn't tell if he was someone's date or husband or if he was just a C.M.E.W. member who I hadn't seen before. I couldn't tell, so I refrained from going to speak to him in the sanctuary after the nuptials were over, but told my girl to look out for a wedding ring.
So my girl and I are standing close to the cake (because where else would stand at a desserts reception?) and he comes and stands ridiculously close to us. Now this man was much better looking in person, about 6'2 with a square jawline, well groomed hair, caramel complexion and sweater muscles that were dying to be let out of the very stylish suit he was wearing. He was 100% my type. My girl nudged me to indicate that he did NOT have on a wedding band, so I decided to strike up a conversation.
(Side note: I'm very old-fashioned when it comes to guys. I don't [usually] feel it's my place solicit information from folks, but I put it out there that I wouldn't turn them down if they solicited information from me. You really just have to smile and laugh a lot, but that's a whole 'nother post topic.)
So anyway, we're having the most awesome chit chat. My girl fell back into the sidelines and he and I are eating cake, discussing our careers, how we liked the ceremony, etc. I found out he just recently moved to the Chi from the West coast, he likes it despite the weater. Blah, Blah, Blah.
This goes on for a good 6-8 minutes then he drops the bomb.
Me: So where do you live in the city?
Him: "WE" just bought a place in the south loop area.
Me (in my head): We=the guy he came to the wedding with=his date for the wedding=his boyfriend who he moved to Chicago about a month ago to live with=I really know how to pick 'em don't I?
So yes, at a wedding packed full of young (and unavailable) folks, I happen to zero in on the young unavailable nicely dressed gay man.
In retrospect, I was describing the hilarious situation to my mom and I was like well the suit was like a muted blue/purple-ish color with a banana colored polka dot tie. So mom, looks me right in the eye and says "Was it periwinkle?"
Periwinkle indeed mom, periwinkle indeed.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Ok, so I was opening up the mail and turns out my company did really well in 2007, so they're going to increase the amount of money they give me in the company match in my 401K by 8%.
THAT'S SO HOT!!!
By the numbers:
I'm gonna use round numbers to explain how my company does it:
They match me for 50% of my contribution up to 6% of my income. So if I put in 6% of my income, they put in 3% of my income.
So let's just say my contribution of 6%=$1,000, they add $500 just because.
Well this year, now they're adding 8% of my 6% to the 3% they gave me.
Again pretending my 6%=$1,000
So if I put in $1,000, the company gives me $500 for no reason, then another $80 because they had a good year.
The catch is that I HAD to have put money in the 401K during 2007 for the benefit to include me. I DID. Boy, am I happy. *Doing a dance singing FREE MONEY, FREE MONEY*
So, here's my public service announcement: If your company offers a 401K or 403B JOIN RIGHT NOW. You may be thinking I can't afford to, but I guarantee you, you can't afford NOT to. (I didn't even speak on the loveliness that is compounded interest, excuse me while I shout all over my apartment)
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Darius: No, just all the questions...
I'm not even going to cite that line from a classic movie (because you should know it), but today we're going to talk about questions.
Well meaning people ask women, in particular, stupid, ignorant and/or rude questions and we really just want to reply "WHY?"
However, that would make us seem like mean and ungraceful women, so we refrain. It may also offend an elder, make us lose our jobs, make our moms slap us in the face (as an adult), etc, etc.
Well, thank goodness for this blog. Today I'm going to entertain 3 or 4 of these extra irritating questions and the answers I (or my friends who I've discussed the topic with) would give.
1. When did you graduate from college?
Why? You really just want to know how old I am, don't you. I could be your age, I could be much older than you, I could be much younger than you. It's really not any of your business when I came out of school. Just know that I went to school, I graduated and by some unfortunate circumstance I'm now standing in the same room with you.
2. So do you think he's going to pop the question when you go [insert exotic vacation location here]
No. I actually hadn't thought about it. But thank you, kind friend, for putting the spirit of expectancy and anticipation in my heart. Do you know how long it took me to get this man to agree to get on a plane, let alone on a couples vacation? He's thinking about how we could have saved money and just went to Wisconsin Dells and you got me over here thinking he may have put three month's salary down on a ring to propose to me for our FIRST vacation together. Yes, thank you, dear friend, for being so inquisitive.
3. So when are you going to have a little one?
Well, we've only been trying to have a kid for the past SIX years. It's really none of your business, but since you asked, Dr. Patel said my husband is sterile and I'm barren. Our chances of "having" a little one are zero, but we've been praying, hoping for a Sarah-Abraham type of miracle. Can you pray that God will get him up and send some free eggs my way? Thanks inquisitive friend, you've really brightened my day.
4. So when are you going to get married?
*Sigh* I'm actually quite happy single, but thanks for asking. Oh... you really want to know. Well, we're in a church for my sister's wedding, so why don't you ask God yourself. Or better yet, since you're in a question/answer type of mood, let me ask you. Do you have a single straight attractive nephew between the ages of 25-35, with a bachelor's or master's degree with good credit, his own home, job security with a retirement package, high self-esteem and a hybrid car? If he's not ONE of my exes's frat, relatives, play cousins or friends AND he's not sowing his single oats with half the women in any given city AND he's looking for someone JUST LIKE ME AND wants to marry her in the next two years instead of just living together, then I'd say... I dunno... maybe in the next two years.
(Above: Is that not the most hideous run-on you've ever seen?)
I'll be posting hot quotes when I don't have time for long posts. My friends are amazingly funny, so let's hope the humore translates well online.
Topic: Inflation in layman's terms
"Like, $20 is not that much in the store anymore, but it's still a lot of money coming out of MY pocket."
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
The petals were $18 for 3 packs of 3 (reasonable), but the overnight shipping was $34.18. I HAD to buy them online because they only have nude in the store and I need toffee because I'm brown, not nude. AND I JUST decided to wear the dress, just now.
In happier news: I saved about $100 because I was GOING to buy shoes and a shawl to go with this darling dress I bought at Ms. Catwalk this weekend...
I could have also called this post the racist breast petal company, but I was trying to keep it light today. LOL!!! Calm down people, I'm joking!
Too bad I don't have time to write a real post today. Stay tuned...
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
(Don't act like you've never accepted someone's friends request because you had 68 friends in common with them, when you don't REALLY know them at all)
Yeah, all those people gotta go with the quickness.
I used to be able to control what I want people to see in my limited profile. Now I can't find that page. Do you have a link to it at all?
(Wack) Facebook answer:
The Limited Profile functionality has been removed from the Privacy page as part of a change to make our privacy controls more robust, and to allow our users more comprehensive control of their privacy settings. [WHAT?!] If you had people on your Limited Profile, they have been moved to a new friend list called "Limited Profile," and this friend list has been added to the appropriate places on your privacy settings. For example, if you hid your Wall in your Limited Profile, the new Limited Profile friend list has been placed under the "Except These People" setting for Wall. [I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT I HID IN MY LIMITED PROFILE, WHICH IS WHY I LIKED IT ALL BEING ON ONE PAGE TOGETHER] However, due to the new privacy controls, we no longer support the hiding of your Mini-Feed as content level privacy settings ultimately control the visibility of your actions on Facebook. Therefore, if you prevented people on your Limited Profile from seeing this information, it will now be visible. Keep in mind your current privacy settings still apply and the Mini-Feed is simply an aggregation of other actions on the site. For example, if a user isn't allowed to see your tagged photos, he or she will not see a photo tagging story in your Mini-Feed, even though you can view the story. [THANKS FACEBOOK, THAT'S NOT CONFUSING AT ALL] We recommend that you review the new privacy settings, as many features have been added that give you more control over the visibility of your content. You are now able to customize which friends and friend lists are (or are not) allowed to view your content. To use these options, just go to any privacy setting and select "Edit Custom Settings." [YOU MEAN YOU WANT ME TO CLICK ON ALL 85 OF THE APPLICATIONS I HAVE AND TELL YOU WHO CAN'T SEE WHAT AS OPPOSED TO IT ALL BEING ON ONE PAGE. GEE, THANKS] You can also review and edit your friend lists from the Friends page. Let me know if you have any further questions. Thanks for contacting Facebook,
In other news I have about a thousand topics to write about and no time. Stay tuned though, here's what's on deck:
- Rev. Jeremiah Wright
- My boyz
- The tapped Chicago market (maybe)
- Things that mess up my partying experience: Part 2
- Something about money (gotta gather my thoughts)
Monday, April 7, 2008
Natural Hair Elitism.
Let's talk about it.
I'm so glad to be discussing this topic on MY blog. I get a little fired up when I post about it on message boards because I always feel like I'm talking to a brick wall.
I feel how I wear my hair is a beauty decision, but many people who wear their hair natural (like mine) feel it's a lifestyle, not a hairstyle and some even feel it's a spiritual decision. Hey, I'm an educated adult. I realize that their views will never match mine and I say to each his or her own. We can agree to disagree... Right?
For some reason these "My hair=my life" people feel the need to share their views on hair with everyone around them, including me. Now you'd think that I'd dodge the bullet since my hair is natural, but NOOOOOOOOOOO. These people want me to commit to never straightening my hair again...
You may be thinking, "T, you need to just stay off of the elitist hair message boards," you're right, but that's not even the problem. People talk to me about this topic in person. I have friends and associates that are disappointed that I haven't decided to never straighten my hair again i.e have a heat-free scalp. :P Nevermind the people who found out that (gasp) I'd consider getting another perm in a minute, if I felt like it. I'm not married to natural hair.
As you may have read in Part 1, I changed my hair because I enjoy texture, but I also LOVE versatility. I can wear it in tight coils (afro) one day and flat-ironed bone staight the next. I refuse to commit to someone else's lifestyle changes to be labeled "natural."
One of my biggest problems with natural hair elitism is that it's not black pride in one's hair just because, it's black pride in one's hair because they feel like anything else is succombing to white standards of beauty (white standards of beauty=silky, straight hair).
Newsflash: Very few black women who straighten their hair look ANYTHING like white women. (No for real, show me a white woman with weeping willows, pin curls and/or finger waves). AND Madam C.J. Walker created the relaxer so she could better manage her hair, NOT so she could look like white people.
When the "my hair=my life" peeps become an advocate for lifestyle A (all naps all the time) because it's so different from lifestyle B (straight hair), they're essentially saying they're better than EVERYONE who chooses to be a part of lifestyle B. Needing to constantly affirm how much better they are than EVERYONE else is just a HUGE sign of insecurity.
I hate to be the one to break it down, but some white people have pretty hair, some black people have pretty hair, some Latinas have pretty hair and some Asian-American women have pretty hair.
(I have to say some, because, be for real, there's a lot of wackness in the world).
I digress. Point is: If someone else has pretty straight hair, it does not make my nappy hair ugly. (And to be fair some straight hair is hideous and some nappy hair is just as ugly).
Now, you educated folks are reading my blog going, "T, you're completely leaving out the part on how society JUST decided to accept black natural styles as ok in the workplace and it's usually considered unprofessional to wear many natural hair styles" You may also say "T, despite Madam C.J. Walker, many of our grandmothers did want hair like white women and have passed that backwards thinking down through the generations, which is why so many black women relax their hair and these elitist are just trying to counter those negative actions"
Wonderful, awesome points, you educated people bring up. I'd encourage you to read more about that topic here. However, using the tools of oppression (acting superior, we'll call it natural hair supremacy) is the wrong way to fight oppression. You must fight oppression with love.
In order to find beauty in (i.e. love) myself, I don't have to put others down. I don't have to think of other races as the enemy because they think straight hair is pretty. AND I definitely don't have to tear down my own race by hating on sisters who, for whatever reason, choose to perm their hair.
Pardon the vernacular below...
Listen real good... I'm gonna tell y'all like I told my grandma "IT'S JUST HAIR"
Some years ago I became very bored with my chemically straightened hair. I highlighted it and started to wear it in straw sets, roller sets, cornrows, braidouts, headwraps, whatever I could to not wear it straight.
My senior year in college a scientist from Loreal, which owns Soft-Sheen Carson, presented at the Women of Color Conference. She noted that contrary to popular belief African-Americans' coarse hair is actually weaker than all of the other races. She also noted that relaxers, which "relax" your hair's natural curl pattern ACTUALLY weaken the hair further. Then when you add color, you guessed it, weaker still and then everyday styling (flat-irons, hot rollers, blow dryers, etc) weaken the hair even more.
So in the fall of '06 a lightbulb went off in my head like "If you're not going to wear your hair straight EVER, why do you relax it (thereby making it weaker) every 6 weeks?" Thank you light bulb! Fast forward to today and my hair is completely natural and I LOVE IT.
I'm sharing this little hair background with the blogosphere, but please note: I HATE THE QUESTION: "Why did you go natural"
It's a dumb question to ask. My hair texture and/or style at any given moment is a beauty decision. Never before have people noticed and/or felt the right to ask me questions about my beauty decisions. In college, I decided that I look much better with a pointed eyebrow arch than a rounded one. No one ever stopped and asked "Hey what made you decide to change the curve of your eyebrow?" Also, in college, I decided to let my square toe boots go and traded them in for a bunch of pointy toe boots (and pumps). No one asked me about it.
In the last six months or so, I've started to wear matte lipstick instead of shiny gloss. To date, I've not received one question about my lip stain choices. I update my look as I see fit, but never before have people felt so entitled to know what motivates my beauty decisions.
Let me also note that the only people who ask me these ridiculous questions are women with relaxers. People with natural hair tend to ask me my hair care regimen or my favorite products. People with relaxers tend to ask me very pointed questions and almost seem to be luring me into a conversation about black nationalism. (*Sarcasm oozing from my fingers as I type this: 'Cause clearly, I'm the militant type) They SEEM to want to hear me say I think I'm better (or blacker) than them because my hair is nappy.
Too bad, I can't do or say any of those things. I'm not a black nationalist, I don't think I'm better (or any blacker) than the next person because I decided to wear my hair the way it grows out of my head.
I simply made a personal beauty (and finance) decision that happens to be noticeable to the general public.
Don't get me wrong if someone is interested in wearing their hair natural and they have tangible questions, like how long did it take, what's your hair care regimen, do you have any regrets, then I'm all about answering them. But if someone is just being nosey, minding my beauty business and trying to get ammo for their next discussion board post, I have no interest in entertaining their shallow questions.
Next Up: It's just hair...
Sunday, April 6, 2008
I was at Apostolic Faith Church last Sunday and we were celebrating 28 years under the Pastorship of Bishop Horace E. Smith. Dr. Carolyn Showell she spoke at length on "The Praise Movement" and I wanted to share my thoughts about it.
She said (paraphrased) that Christianity has seen a lot of movements as of late: The Giving Movement, Prayer Movement, Worship Movement and most recently the Praise Movement (or sometimes we see them together the Praise and Worship Movement), which is why almost every church has a "praise and worship" team now. That's something we didn't see in the church maybe 20 years ago, but it's common practice now. Of course, to be a well rounded Christian you have to engage in all of these activities, but the praise movement is the "it" movement in churches across the country right now.
The service was excellent, but I'm not a "talk me happy" type of person. If I'm going to praise I'm going to praise despite what everyone else is doing AND if I'm going to sit down, I'm going to sit down despite everyone else getting fired up. That's just how I am. So I wasn't "feelin'" like getting up all last Sunday, I mean a genuinely clap here and a sincere "Amen" there, but I wasn't going to stand up throughout the entire sermon, just because it was about "praise."
I was thinking, praise and worship is the time to "praise" and the sermon is the time to get spiritually fed. I was seriously sitting in the pew thinking, why is this lady trying to mix the two? Then it hit me like a light bulb, I'm supposed to praise whether I feel like it or not. You should have seen me pop out of my seat when that thought crossed my mind. It was like "duh" you didn't come to church to sit here and be pretty. God deserves praise and you have to give it to him.
For a bit more background, when I was younger no matter what I did on Saturday night I HAD to go to church on Sunday morning. When I was in high school, my non-church-going cousins and friends thought it was so hypocritcal to party on Saturday night, then go to church on Sunday. (I got started kickin' it at an early age, LOL). As I got older, I kept up this practice (always going to church on Sunday no matter what) and in college my friends joked that they had to get home early on Saturday night because they knew no matter what time they got in, I'd be calling like, "Y'all ready to go to church."
As an adult, living on my own and going to church alone most of the time, I still find it necessary and important to go to church EVERY Sunday. Just like I miss a workout or two during the week, I sometimes miss a Sunday or two during the month, but my goal is always to go every Sunday I have the opportunity.
After hearing the sermon and taking a look at myself, I can honestly say, that this "must go to church attitude" is due to how I interpret "The Praise Movement." I truly believe, that no matter what I do, God still deserves his praise. I don't go to church because I think I'm better than people who don't. I go to church alone, so I'm definitely not trying to prove anything to anyone. I rarely get to church on the same schedule as my friends, so it's not social either. I also don't go to church thinking it's a magic bullet to solve all my problems and make all my dreams come true.
Nope, I go to church to PRAISE!!! Hit me up if you'd ever like to join me. :)
Friday, April 4, 2008
Take 15 minutes to hear formerly apathetic high school students in the Bronx who are now Fired Up! Ready to Go!
Here's the link
I'm so hyped now. GO OBAMA! YES WE CAN!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Why not go?
No, but seriously, check out the store layout... (beware the Web site isn't updated, so just click on this page, don't worry about trying to click around)
You can also see a Metromix review here
2042 N. Damen Ave.
Chicago, IL 60647
Saturday (4/5) from 5-9pm
And in the spirit of the lovely sale my girl is having, let's talk about shopping for just a moment, shall we?
I LOVE Target, I mean, Target is one of my favorite places to be, right up there with Miami, John Legend concerts and my bed. It really makes me happy. Me and my friend were talking today about how she went in to get paper towels and came out with a whole new spring look. :)
So, imagine my surprise when I went to Target and came out of the store empty handed. That's right, I didn't buy one thing. Why, you ask?
Because my beloved Target, will now be known as home of the fake string bikini... More on that to come...
You all know Operation Desert Storm is fast approaching, so I went into Target to get ammo (bathing suits) and camoflauge (stunna shades and cute shoes). A majority of the shoes that are available for purchase on Target.com are not in the store yet. So sad. While I enjoy online shopping as much as the next diva, it's way too close to the trip to risk package delays and ill-fitting shoes. I'd much rather find things online and buy them in the store. Sadly, that wasn't an option for me today.
But I digress. Let's talk about bikinis. Do you know what a string bikini bottom is?
The above photo is a string bikini bottom. Continuing in the conversation, do you know what a scoop bikini bottom is? The below photo is a scoop bikini bottom.
The ENTIRE appeal of a string bikini bottom is that it IS NOT a scoop bikini bottom, the string also adds shape to your hips and thighs, which is the look I'm going for. (Clearly the scoop has the opposite affect, in case you're reading and that's the look YOU'RE going for).
So TARGET apparently thinks it's ok to have a scoop bikini bottom with a string on it, then to tie the string around the scooped part to make it seem as if it is an AUTHENTIC string bikini bottom.
It is not.
Imagine my surprise (and disgust) as I untied the string, only to find in my hand a scoop bikini bottom.
Target, I am disappointed.
Rest easy though, the supply mission was not completely sabotaged and the Operation is still in order: I stopped at a couple of Halsted Street boutiques in Lakeview and seized some combat boots (i.e. the cutest silver peep-toe T-strap stillettos) and a canteen (i.e. an even cuter silver wrist-clutch purse).
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Lately some headturners (for one reason or another)
Jay-Z and Mary J. Blige
Jill Scott and Raheem Devaughn
J. Holiday and Trey Songs
Bow Wow and Omarion
So in the spirit of collaboration, I was thinking about a few folks that I think should definitely do a show together, not so much because it's a perfect marriage, mainly because I'm trying to be frugal and get my money's worth.
(In random order)
1. Lauryn Hill and Erykah Badu - Can you imagine? I mean, the crowd-watching would be entertaining enough to make the ticket worth what you paid for it.
2. John Legend and Eric Robeson - Just two of my personal favorites who stay on heavy rotation at my house. I'd love to see how they vibe together or back to back at a show.
3. Patti LaBelle and Gladys Knight - No description necessary...
4. Jodeci, Boyz 2 Men and Dru Hill - Forever my Lady... Motown Philly... Five Steps... Every Freakin' Night... End of the Road... Beauty...
And for the record, I'm talking Boyz to Men with Mike, not this 3-person business they have going on right now.
Also for the record, I'm talking Dru Hill with Woody, withOUT that fifth dude and without this radio-youtube-reality show-gossip blog crap they have us tuning into right now.
I get excited just thinking about it. I'm sitting in my house like...
Motown, Philly back again...
doing a little east coast fling...
Boyz 2 Men...
Sing it with me now *not too hard... NOT TOO SOFT!*
I've stayed on my workout grind, but I have to switch it up already. You know how sometimes you go to a class, (step, pilates, yoga, anything) and you and the teacher just don't gel. I had that experience today.
I'm was in a pilates class trying to focus on my breathing and the teacher is touching my feet, stomach, hips, whatever. I'm more of a tell me how to fix my posture kind of girl. I'm not sure where your hands have been and you definitely don't know how many times I've worn these pants to the gym since the last wash...
There were a couple of other reasons we didn't gel, but it's no one's fault. It just wasn't meant to be. *sigh*
I also saw a teacher I DO gel with and she told me she missed me in step class today, so I'm going to go with the "if it ain't broke..." method at the gym this week.
Sunday - 1 hr cardio
Monday - 1 hr cardio
Tuesday - Pilates at home
Wednesday - Step
Thursday - Pilates
Friday - REST
I may need to add in some more strength, but I'll let you all know how it's going.
Mini progress report: I had on some too-small jeans earlier and I only had to suck it in a little bit to get them on. :)
How's everyone else's workout plan coming along?
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
T-mobile is giving away free Tix to the John Legend concert at the Vic this Thursday, BUT you have to see the WGCI bus on 87th and the Dan Ryan tomorrow from 11am - 2pm to get them.
I have to work. :(
So if you're a student, work nights or don't have a job and could possibly be in that area tomorrow AND happen to get tickets, I'd love to be your guest.