Sunday, March 16, 2008

Fashion (or lack thereof) and such

So as you know from 2 posts below it hit 48 degrees in Chicago and most of us have officially kicked off the spring-summer partying season in honor of the lovely weather.

So Cam and Common Ground threw another hot event on Thursday. I was impressed with the crowd and the overall atmosphere, but I noticed something that I must share. I've been on hibernation since Rob's birthday party in December, so I guess I must've missed the turn that fashion was taking. Here's how I feel on a number of "trends" that have ripped the runway, bounced into a magazine, hit the H&M racks and ended up on someone's body...

I'll start with the positive.

1. In general

- The individualism that's showing up is refreshing. I remember one summer like '04 or maybe '05, it was like the stores only sold one dress in a thousand colors. You know that Miami looking spandex dress that was tight on the bottom and flowy at the top. It usually had your top exposed or people would wear a rhinestone bra or something under it. I'm so glad we're past that.

2. Pencil skirts and flowy shirts/flowy skirts and tight shirts

- Ok, I love love love this trend. And everyone who wore an outfit like this generally had the right shape to rock it. On the tight shirt piece, think spandexy long or short sleeved type shirt. I'm gonna have to post a link because it sounds ugly as I'm typing it.

http://allwomenstalk.com/independent-spirit-awards-kerry-washington/

3. Skinny Jeans/Shiny leggings

- I love this trend too, which is so funny because I HATED it this time last year. Trends take a while to grow on me. I hated three quarter lengths sleeves when they first came out, I hated ballet flats when people started wearing them, in grammar school I HATED puff coats, then I bought one in high school. Whatev, you get the point. Love how people were rocking the skinny jeans (for the most part).

NEGATIVE

4. Hair

- So in this category there were a number of atrocities. The most notable is the lack of a trend, if you will. The bob is back in full force, bangs made a debut, layers are still hot and of course, bright colors are in. News flash: The wrap went out in the 90s, it's not coming back. Boring limp hair is not what's hot anymore ladies, no matter how long or silky smooth it may be. Please step your game up.

5. Sweater Dresses

- I don't know what in the panty-line-showing-cottage-cheese-flowing-hell was going through people's minds, but sweater dresses are not for everyone. Like a number of trends you must have the perfect shape to rock a sweater dress (not too skinny, not fat in ANY way).

- And while we're on that note, let's discuss proper underwear. If a dress requires a thong, but you aren't comfortable in a thong, or don't look right in a thong, I can guarantee that that's not the dress for you. If you just must wear the dress, there are other options ladies, seamless boyshorts work perfectly. The people that I'm talking about specifically would have done the world some good if they'd just picked up some spanx. To that same end, I should not be able to see your bra or panties through your dress, skirt, shirt, pants, whatever (unless it's a part of the outfit, which is something I won't even discuss today). That means the shape of it, the color of it, etc, etc. It's like some people don't have parents or grandparents who would have instilled this kind of make-sure-you-wear-the-proper-undergarments pride in folks. I just can't understand.

6. Leggings/Tights/Stockings/Shirts

- SHIRTS ARE NOT DRESSES! We KNOW that you're rocking a shirt. It's not cute, it's not trendy, it's not trend-setting... It's a mess.

- TIGHTS AND STOCKINGS ARE NOT LEGGINGS! Again, we know they're tights, we know they're not footed leggings, we can see the scar you got in recess in the third grade through the tights/stockings. Leggings are opaque. Do not let your friend convince you that you look ok. Jeans and a shirt would have been a much better simpler look.

7. COATS ARE NOT JACKETS

- This is for the brothers. If you have on a knee-length black or gray wool coat on top of a button down shirt, that does not make it a jacket or blazer. You looketh a mess. And the sad thing about this is that there was FREE coat check and it was hot as death in this party. There was no excuse whatsoever to be walking around looking like you're getting ready to Drive Ms. Daisy. It was horrible.

8. Things that just don't make sense.

- I can't think of what to call this category, because I was so very confused by an array of things that were going on.

This outfit I'm about to describe is very specific and the internet is wide open, so if you know the girl I'm talking about or if the girl I'm talking about is reading this, I mean you no harm. Just speaking my mind.

There was a chic at the party that had on black stretch high-waisted skinny jeans. Vintage. Think faded super tight jeans we used to wear in different colors in the early 90s, the ones that don't even have belt loops. Then she had on a maroon, green and white striped long-sleeved rugby shirt with a white collar and it was TUCKED so tough into the skinny high-waisted jeans. I don't even remember the shoes because when she walked in the room, I couldn't get the confused look off my face, so I had to look away.

Also, people are doing ignorant things with vests, scarves, high-waisted pants, funny looking shoes and even button down shirts.

Don't take my word for it. Please get out to a swanky location near you and have tons and tons of fun people watching.

Of course, "You know who" is going to come in here and say I'm a hater for posting this post. He's absolutely right. I am envious of people who can walk out of the house looking a complete and utter mess KNOWING they're going to see people they know AND that photos will be taken. I can only dream of being that secure. I reserve my HAM moments for the gym and Jewel.

2 comments:

ThummyB said...

*le sigh* Its really like...same shyt, different day. I mean every summer there are a whole new wave of messes. Personally, I am still traumatized from All-Star Weekend '07...NEVER AGAIN!!!

You Know Who said...

You are a hater for posting that post.

(didn't want to disappoint my #1 fan)