Wednesday, September 5, 2018

*Booed Up Voice* The Anxiety

So today is Tuesday. Also known as swim day. As in, I leave work at 4:30, get home by 5:30, hop in the car with my mom and my kids, swim class from 6-6:30, Wendy's, bathtime (including washing hair because... swimming), bedtime. This all ends/ended at about 9 p.m., then I started to work.

I don't always work after I put the girls down. I'd say I only do this once a week, if that. Except when I have events. Then I work late night and after the girls have gone to bed ALL THEE TIME. Like I've made arrangement to work late the next two weeks. But today was swim day, so I couldn't stay in the office late.

I'm really scared that I'm going to end up poor. Here's why. This life is not sustainable. I'm 35, not 22. I can't be up all got damn night, not sleeping and shit and then keep doing the same thing over and over again. Somebody is going to get snapped on, then I'm going to get fired.

Let's say I don't snap on anyone, possible. Sleep deprivation can lead to all other kinds of f*ck ups, careless mistakes, wack materials, just a plethora of BS.

So while I'm up right now, I'm afraid that after a 15-year career in this business this one event (or the next one, or the next one) is going to be the straw that breaks the camel's back. And then I'll get fired, never be hired again and my children and I will live a life of poverty. All this because it's 1:07 a.m. and I only finished one of the three things I had on my 9 p.m. to-do list.

I's tired.

See also: anxiety disorder.

I'm sure there are some typos here.

Good night.

P.S. I post less than once a month. So sad.

Thursday, July 19, 2018

Best Staycation Ever!

So I haven't been into the office since Thursday, July 12th and it's been one of the best staycations I've ever taken. In my new role, I have something like 27... 29 days and I'm a firm believer of taking vacation time. It's a part of the benefits package and therefore a part of my bottom line. So not taking it, is bad for me not just mentally, but financially.

Here's what I did/why I loved it. Maybe a tea's top 10 is emerging.

1. I was firm about doing what I wanted to do. So many people could have been called and dates could have been planned because "I've been meaning to connect with them," but connecting with folks for connections sake, usually takes me off track and leaves me feeling dissatisfied, even in the 2-3 hour encounter was positive. I ran the hell outta some errands on Friday and didn't let the "I'm in town, what's good." messages deter me.

2. I put myself first. My mom was laughing at me because I told her I took off my vacation surrounding a party weekend. What's funny? I'm finally at a point where I can work, be a good mom AND have a social life. I'm also at an age where socializing requires recovery. So yes, I 100% took off work to party. No regrets.

3. I looked like a whole snack at the Posh Paris Club party on Sunday, and #BlackScene boat linkup on Sunday. I am not in anybody's gym or yoga class. I eat two donuts and whateverthehellelse I want every day of the week. I've gained 20lbs since I stopped nursing and I couldn't care less. I needed a new work wardrobe anyway. Point is, I bought clothes that fit the body that I have (and squoze into an outfit that still worked) and I felt great in them.

4. My weekend babysitter was available two days in a row. That's how you know God is good!

5. Because of 1-4, I was fully present Monday-Thursday when I spent time with my big girls (They aren't babies anymore y'all). They loved having me home during the day. I loved experiencing them for a longer period of time. And I didn't have any resentment that they were taking away my ability to do my own thing, because I made sure I did my own thang!

6. I wasn't overscheduled, but was still productive as hell. You know I like a spreadsheet, schedule, to-do list, alladat. But I was so open and free and ended up doing stuff I didn't plan to do because it didn't feel like a chore because it wasn't on my to-do list.

7. I still worked a little bit. I had at least one work call or one work situation to attend to each working day that I was away and it didn't even bother me. Usually I'm like "don't call me no mo & don't text me no mo," but the calls/texts/situations were easy for me to respond to and the people would not have reached out if they had another option. I was happy to be a resource for my team.

8. I didn't give my nanny the time off. She was off for 5 days the other week, so I was so happy to have her support while I was off. Mom guilt almost made me play myself on that one, but nah, she was still working.

9. I got to be a "pretend" stay at home mom. I put the laundry away the same day I did it. I had good dinner on the table most nights. I let the kids play more than they usually do because I'm usually so friggin tired. It was really nice. (Disclaimer: I say pretend because I know most stay at home moms do not have a full time nanny with them and so their lives are significantly different than my 5-day vaca, but if I had everything I wanted, that's how "I" would be a stay-at-home mom.)

10. Finally, I spoiled my babies! They got their first bikes and helmets this week. We went to Legoland, which, let's be honest, was really a better outing for me than them. And their godparents gave them powered princess cars, which I presented like Christmas in July this morning and they were ripping up the sidewalks and neighbors grass this morning. Vroom. Vroom!

So I'm writing this to note that things and going swimmingly well with work, life, home and my loves. When they are having full on tantrums and/or peeing and pooping all over the place, that could be easy to remember. But if I ever go back and read this post, I hope I remember that I took great care of myself and my girls this staycation and we're all better because of it.

I'ma be cute at work tomorrow, too. Bloop.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

When Loose Squares Are Life...

I was going to post this as a Facebook status, but I don't want this coming up in my memories years down the road. I also didn't want the comments and reactions to bring me down, as I was having a banner weekend and nothing positive can be said about this horrific situation. Finally, I didn't want to learn which of my Facebook friends thought it might not be racism, or it might have been justified or whatever else they think that could have prevented a black man from losing his life, which is DEAD WRONG. (No ways to prevent hate).

Here's what I have to say though:

Last night Chicago police killed a working father because they thought he was selling loose cigarettes. What’s the tax on a pack of cigarettes? $3? $5? The police feel like that loss of revenue to our government is worth your life & I am disgusted. This is the same attitude of the Barbecue Beckies & Permit Patties and it’s rooted in hate. If you can’t stand my existence, you damn sure won’t tolerate me being in your presence and “breaking the [permit] laws.” But people do not deserve to die because you can’t stand them buying skittles, smoking cggarettes, selling loose cigarettes, playing music too loudly, barbecuing, selling water to go to Disneyland or selling merchandise on the street OR BREATHING IN YOUR PRESENCE. BLACK People deserve life & personhood and the riot that’s happening on 71st right now is warranted. I’m not sharing any news stories because the headlines & coverage are not balanced. Google it and make your own determinations.

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Spring Slowdown

Springtime is so busy, in general, but especially for me.

This year there was

Easter
My Baby's Birthday
Hosting My BFF'S  Baby Shower
My birthday
A conference in NYC, where I kept the party going for my birthday
Sadly, a funeral
Mother's Day

As a March 9th, I got a weekend babysitter. I have a strong village of friends and aunts and even my mom's friends who are usually free and available to watch the girls. However, I had a friend watch them, so I could go to brunch or something and they gave her hell. That's when I realized that having a revolving door of close and well meaning folks isn't going to work for 2, 2 year olds. And I honestly just get tired of asking people for help. I have to go down the list of 20 mogs and hear the "so sorry, can't do its" and as comfortable as I've become with asking for help, I still somehow feel like a burden and I feel like people think I'm ungrateful. (I know feelings aren't facts, but I'm trying to be honest here).


This weekend, I really wanted to go to the Posh Effen Chi Mother's Event (And sadly, I thought this weekend was Mother's Day weekend, so I was completely unprepared to shower my own mom on Mother's Day last weekend. It snuck up swiftly.) 

Anywho, this weekend, I wanted to be out, but my babysitter is a mom, too, and her daughter had a cheerleading competition, so she wasn't free. Hated to miss the event, but such is my life. If I don't have childcare, I can't go.

So this weekend, my children were sweet. Sweet as pie. Their hugs lasted longer. I was able to linger at the park when we went outside and do more before bed activities with them (you should see the routine they put me through before they lay it down). I was able to cook better meals and let them sit on my lap while they ate them.

So many times this weekend, they just wanted to snuggle. In my bed, on the floor. Before Lahna went to bed tonight, she literally said "Mommy, pick me up," which isn't something she usually says before bedtime. And she didn't want anything, but a long embrace.

I am super happy to have a weekend babysitter and an opportunity to get back to some of the relationships I feel like I've abandoned over the last 2-3 years. AND literally to just go to brunch and day parties, which was virtually impossible as a nursing mother and then as someone at the mercy of friends and family being available for me to actually make moves.

With so much going on this spring, I'm glad that I was forced to "slow down" this weekend and experience the emotive responses of my kids. They seem to have missed uninterrupted access to me and while I can't always give that to them, this weekend, I did and it was great!

Saturday, May 19, 2018

Mama, I Made It!

Last night I was up until 2 a.m. cleaning my room and paying bills. The girls and I live with my mom and my room is the "Big" kid's room. The coveted room when we were growing up. The room that you were happy to get when the oldest (or next in line) moved out or went to college. The last person in the room was my little brother and I think that was 6 or 7 years ago. My mom was using it as a closet when I arrived.

My brother had it painted this hideous red and blue and he never finished painting it, so most mornings I woke up to what looked like blood splatter on the walls. It was a dreary place to be. Not to mention, it's too ugly in there to share photos of the girls. Like most kids, my babies LOVE sleeping, playing, jumping and lounging in Mommy's bed and they're so stinkin' cute when they do it. However, I couldn't post any of the pics because the decor in the background was so hideous.

I bought a comforter set that I loved and zoomed in to a photo or two, but most of the good photos are not staged and include any number of red, white and blue unfinished painted walls in them. Fast forward to last night and I've arranged to have the room painted. The painted will be here at 12:30 p.m. since I have no free time during the week (I actually had to work late twice this week, which I rarely do anymore). But since I have no free time during the week, I had to clear out my room to make it paint-ready.

First of all, I'm a pack rat.
Second, I live in the family home, so my bedroom is like my studio apartment.
Third, I have two babies (they're big girls now, who are we kidding, but they are MY babies). I have two babies and there's SO! MUCH! STUFF! So I cleared out all but my closet, dusted, scattered things in the basement and living room.

Then I had to clean the kitchen. I have to wash the dishes, every night. I say this because when I was living alone with no kids, I did NOT wash the dishes every night. I would let the dishes pile up Monday through Friday and Saturday morning, get busy. This was, of course, after sleeping in and before or after brunch. Man, those were good times.

So I HAVE to wash dishes every night, so that the nanny doesn't come in and have to clean our dishes (Rude) and on the weekends, so I don't have a 13-hour work day (13 hours with my kids is work)... So I don't have that kicked off with a filthy kitchen.

But in May 2018, I also have to sweep and vacuum every night because my kids throw food on the floor. Sometimes purposely, but now mostly just because they miss their mouths. And it's springtime and we had ants here the moment it turned 70 deagrees, so there can't be a morsel of rice on the floor before I lay my head down, like none.

So anywho, I do the the cleaning. I clear out my hoarder's bedroom. THEN, since I've been ripping and running for what seems like the last 2 months, I had to sit down and finally pay bills, which means I also had to balance my checkbook and the statement closed on 4/25 or something like that and this is 5/8, so I have almost a month of withdrawals and deposits to account for on top of my current statement.

I HAD to do all of that because with the kids on the weekend, there's no telling if free time will truly be free AND I like to keep a steady level of energy. Doing too much during the day will have me ill prepared to take care of them when they wake up from their afternoon nap and being tired running after toddlers is a recipe for disaster.

So I paid all the bills and while I feel so blessed to have not even remembered I got paid on 5/15, then been able to pay all the bills and have coins left over, I still don't get any joy or fulfillment from opening all that mail (real or electronic) and doing all those life tasks. 

Now that I've caught you up, I'd like to say: Everyone can be as mad as they choose at the 1%. I'm trying to BE the 1%. I think my life's true fulfillment will come when I can staff all of these positions.

Nanny*
Cleaning Service*
Financial Planner* 
Driver (Does Uber count) 
Chef (tried to get this one for free. Backfired.)
Accountant 
House Manager (this one is so clutch and often overlooked ESPECIALLY for stay at home moms. Watching kids is one job. Cleaning is another job. Cooking is a third job. And doing very necessary, but mentally draining work of getting rooms painted, making sure heating, cooling, plumbing and refrigeration is up to par AND paying bills, finding service people, negotiating with them. Hell, just calling your service providers to double check on the accuracy of your monthly bills is/could be a full time job).

I think (I could be wrong), but I think when I have all of these positions feel, I will have finally "made it."

*I already have these. Praise God!

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Numbers That Blow Me...

Did you know only 9% of people go out for New Year's Eve. As a parent this makes nothing, but sense to me. Who exactly is going to watch my kids while I hit the streets to party? And if I have free time, would I use it to party or sleep? And who exactly do you trust to be all in your house all hours of the night while this partying is going on? It's just not practical. But the overwhelming [social media] response is "what are you doing for NYE?" This starts as early as Halloween. Most people ain't doing nothing. Why do we harass each other with these questions.

Did you know only 30% of American households have children. This is down from 34%. Having kids is such a finite time in people's lives. It makes so much sense because most people who don't have kids or who's kids are older are COMPLETELY oblivious to the lives of parents. Like you can't invite one of my children without inviting the other. Or you can't just show up at someone's home, it might be nap time. Or you can't just wing it when it comes to meals - kids need plans and nutrients and UberEATS is not the move with toddlers. Like, why would you know these things if you didn't have kids or don't currently have kids in your home. 70% of mogs don't have to deal with this. If you'd asked me before I saw that stat, I would have said at least 50%.

Grocery prices are down. WHERE? I guess at Whole Foods since Amazon bought them trying to be everything to everybody. But I was never paying Whole Foods prices to begin with, so that overall change didn't affect me personally. But, I guess, yes, grocery prices are down. Thanks Amazon.


P.S. I wrote this forever ago and forgot to post it. Thank goodness. Now I am averaging one blog post a month. *cabbage patch*

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Toddlers at the Super Bowl

We're going to Pittsburgh this week and the logistics of that trip are on my mind, hence I had the following crazy dream.

I dreamt that my mom and I took the girls to the Super Bowl. And they had been to some football games before (in other dreams), but I was really worried that one would leap out of my arms onto the football field, then I would be jailed for child neglect.

I somehow got separated from them. I was with the luggage and my mom was with the girls, so I checked into the hotel. Then I heard twins in the hallway and I looked out and saw turquoise and purple coats and opened the door. The woman coming into the suite next to mine had seven kids. Two twins run amok, two older kids (like 5 and 7) and three kids hanging off of her. I opened the door, looked down and realized that these weren't my kids. And while she was struggling to open her door, I informed her that I had 22 month old toddler twins, then I closed my door, offering her no help. (Side note, this cooks my grits. People want to have full on adult conversations with me while I am wrangling toddlers. Stop doing that. I don't care that your coworker's cousin's uncle had twins. If those twins aren't going to babysit or give my twins hand me downs this useless chatter must cease.) 

Ok, so then something happened where the tickets I purchased for my mom and my babies weren't working, so I was working feverishly online trying to use my free tickets to get my babies to the Super Bowl. (Side note, I have two free flights right now. One on American and one on Delta. You know you're washed when you have free flights and can't even take them. I AM taking a free flight to Pittsburgh, but I had to buy my mom's flight, so yeah... all these miles and nowhere to go.) And I was sitting there reflecting on how dope it is that I can take my toddlers to the Super Bowl.

Then I woke up.

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

In These Baby Streets

In 2015, I didn't take any days off for Christmas because I was saving up all my days for maternity leave. In 2016, I didn't have any days left because you have to use all of your sick time, personal time and vacation time before your short term disability (maternity leave) kicks in. So from August 1st to December 31st, 2016, I had no days off work... And I was a new mom, nursing twin babies. LAWDT, I was tired.

Oh, but 2017. What a glorious year it has been. I sleep through the night. And I'm finding out that most moms don't actually get 6-8 hours of sleep. Sucks for them. I'm sleeping good and I'm not turning back! Things are getting back to normal, or hell, things are a new normal and they are fine with me.

In 2017, I AM TAKING A WEEK OFF WORK FOR CHRISTMAS!!!

AND AND, my children are mobile enough that I can take them outside without a partner. I think the first time I did that was at K's baby sprinkle and it was a doozy. They had just started walking and were running around tearing K's house up.

But now, we've been a few places and done a few things. I think we get to a play space and/or a  birthday party about twice a month. Well, next week, we in these streets every day baby! What I'm not gone do is be in the house with two toddlers for 10 straight days. Nah, they're about to get to know the ins and outs of the city and suburbs.

I invited most of my mom friends (I know I forgot somebody). Please forgive me if you are one of the forgotten. But it's lowkey, come if you're free. Not a birthday party. Not a big deal.

Plus, they have outfits! Ooh, do they have outfits. Christmas Eve, Christmas, Regular church day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day outfits. Athleisure and bathleisure outfits. Park, playtime, nighttime and bedtime OUT FITS!

Oh boy, this part of mom-ming is fun. I'm ready!

Monday, December 11, 2017

Ah, the Domestic Life

I'm a mom. I've fully leaned into that. It fits me like a glove. What I was not prepared for is how domestic I have to be in order to do mom stuff well. Ugh. I just hate the cooking and the cleaning and the grocery shopping. Nesting is cool because it requires consumption and I'ont mind cosmetic shopping. But since my body decided to give me two babies at the same damn time, I don't really have the funds I thought I would to hire people to do all of the things I don't want to do. I have to clip my own cartwheel coupons dawg. It doesn't suit me.

Anywho, while I was washing dishes Sunday night, I decided a on few more repairs I want to get done to the home. Since moving in with my mom, you'd think I actually owned a home with all the repairs I am doing. If we're being honest, I really just want a big condo or to rent somebody else's house. I want to focus on living life and let someone else do the house management.

Alas, if this was Downton Abbey I would live downstairs and not upstairs, so here I am. Eating the servant's meal (whatever Lahna & Joy leaves on their plate) and managing a household.

I decide I'm going to get two things done to the bathroom. Not a full remodel, just two things that will make the time we spend in this room go better. I have the plumber coming Tuesday. I have the contractor on standby for when the plumber gets finished. I could potentially have these two things that I've been wanting to do forever, done by the end of the year (or even before Christmas). I'm geeked up about it.

Sunday afternoon, the dryer breaks. I have a lot of clothes, but I don't wear a lot of clothes. I wear the same five things in rotation and four of them are loungy pants because I work from home most days.

LAWDT, my one load of all of my favorite things are wet and funky in the dryer and now I have to shift funds from the bathroom repairs to the dryer. OR, I just have to pay for both, which is also the likely thing. I don't want to adult.

Do you own your home? What are the most annoying repairs you've had to do recently? Are you a hands-on handyman or do you hire out like me? Do you prefer new construction or fixer uppers?


Monday, November 27, 2017

A Lovely Day!

Thanksgiving was a lovely day this year. You all know I am the ultimate planner. I like things to be planned to the tee. But then, you also know I'm a twin mom and you can't be QUITE so buttoned up when toddlers are involved. Things went swimmingly well this year and here are a few reasons why.

1. I remembered that Thanksgiving was coming when I did my Sunday grocery shopping (the day before Thanksgiving) and didn't buy THAT much food. So when we got a turkey and a ham and all the fix-ins, there was space for it in the fridge and the freezer. It also gave me a great opportunity to get all of the fluff out of the fridge and freezer. That's who I am now, a woman who gets excited about defrosting.

2. My mom did the actual Thanksgiving shopping, which was such a relief.

3. My family does a bit of a potluck, so everyone only has to make 1 or 2 dishes. How nice is that?

4. I didn't PLAN to go to my mom's church (which is across the street from our house), but I said if we were up early enough, and dressed and ready, then we would. My mom left us at 9:30 a.m. and I headed out at about 10 a.m. on foot, but we made it. Thanksgiving service is only an hour long and my loves did great. They drank water, played with their toys, screamed for their grandma (who is an usher) during offering and overall just spent time being cute, which is their one true job at this age. No one offered me any unsolicited advice, and there were no toddler meltdowns. Even better, church ended at 11, which is their usual naptime. They were in the bed by 11:30 a.m.

5. I had uninterrupted time to cook the mac & cheese. Y'all know that's the one dish I put my foot it. I'd go up against your grandma and win. I ain't playin. Anywho, I took my time with it

6. I got along with the twins' father all day. If ever there's something to be grateful for, that's it.

7. My babies only ate one thing on Thanksgiving: MY MAC AND CHEESE! Talk about that for an ego boost. *shimmies* *bodyrolls* *pop locks* *footworks* These little sweet girls used to be terrors, but lately they are amazing little reminders of how dope I am... times two!

8. We ate on time. In a black household. And my mom had to work, so folks were gone by 5. We had family nap time from 4-6. HOLLA!

9. I did not cry when we went around to say what we are thankful for. I almost ALWAYS cry. I'm such a sapp. I went first, made a little joke and kept the party going.

10. Last year, I was in New York, unwilling (the stress) and unable (the cost) to travel with 6 month old twins, but this year, I was home with family. And outside of getting the carpets clean, scrubbing down the bathroom and making some fye mac, the day didn't really cost me any time or effort.

Monday, November 20, 2017

35 down, 15 to go!


I cannot believe I haven't been to a new state since 2013, BUT thanks to my lovely life as a jetsetting PR girl, the gig sent me to Seattle, so I knocked Washington State off of my list. In true business travel form, I was in and out in less than 48 hours, BUT from what I can see, I can tell why people like Washington. 

Let me start off my saying is it melanin deficient. There was lots of non-whites, but not lots of blacks. Wikipedia told me that a lot of Asian immigrants and tourists stop in Seattle. Makes sense. 

Wikipedia did not tell me why black people did NOT settle in Seattle, but hey, there's only so many of us. We have to congregate somewhere and Seattle did not make the cut.

The city is beautiful. It's a true city. Bustling downtown, pretty skyline, water and terrain (options!!!), amazing restaurants and lots of craft beer and coffee. When I was there, I felt like everything I saw or experienced was expertly crafted. Like I should be following Seattle on Instagram because I'm going to like everything they put up.

I 100% see the appeal of the city.

In my opinion, loving the East Coast the way I do, Seattle isn't worth the 4-hour flight from Chicago strictly for a vacation. But if someone I loved was having a baby shower there, it would be worth it to go and stay a few extra days.

Let's talk about these last 15 states... it's not looking too good fam. The way my budget is set up, I can only really take one non-work trip a year (or every other year) and I'm not going to damn South Dakota on my one vacation.

I turn 35 next year, so I was thinking maybe I could do 50 by 50, but again, not taking a vacation to Idaho...  

Lastly, I have in my drafts "Things to do" in each of these states. I don't have time to dedicate to editing, proofing and updating these drafts, so it's just awesome content that no one will see. #MomLife 

Might Don't Make It States:   

  1. Alaska
  2. Arkansas
  3. Delaware
  4. Idaho
  5. Kansas
  6. Maine
  7. Mississippi
  8. Montana
  9. New Hampshire
  10. New Mexico
  11. North Dakota
  12. Rhode Island
  13. South Dakota
  14. Vermont
  15. Wyoming







Thursday, November 16, 2017

13 Things

A mom's group I'm in on Facebook asked "What do you love about your kids right now?" What a wonderful question and in such a safe place. I often worry that I'm sharing too much. Or the fact that being a mom has taken over MY life, doesn't mean that that's what people want to hear from me. So I love that there are spaces like mom groups on Facebook and my blog where I can just say my peace.

Here's my response to that question, that I want to capture for history. With babies changing daily, something that fascinates me today will be like pfft tomorrow. I want to remember all the things.

Question: What are you little ones doing right now that amazes you.
My Answer: Everything my kids do amazes me. I’ll start a list.

  1. Kiss each other without being told to
  2. Kiss me (complete with the mu-ah sound) out of the blue.
  3. Put on their own jackets.
  4. Take off their own diapers.
  5. Lahna repeating everything. EVERYTHING.
  6. Joy making sure Lahna is in clear sight before proceeding at anything.
  7. Clapping at the right times on Family Feud.
  8. And this is probably the realest/best/coolest one: they recognize & understand humor. They laugh when things are funny, even when no adults are laughing. That ABSOLUTELY warms my soul.
  9. They are very kind. They don’t see other kids often, but when we go to birthday parties & things, they always share.
  10. They’re great climbers. Mostly this scares me to death, but I am always fascinated by their ability to get to higher levels without my assistance.
  11. When they sing along with their YouTube songs.
  12. They know the difference between trash & recyclables. Ooh this warms my little tree-hugging heart!
  13. If they drop food on the ground, they know to pick it up & put it in the trash.

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

That's HER Stuff!

So we went to a block party with my friend's children this summer. The boy is 2 and his sister is 5 (or something like that). He's VERY possessive of his sister and his sister's things. It was at this event, that I realized how naturally kind my children are. Because nothing truly belongs to just one of them, they share with everyone. They ALSO, as a result, think that everyone will share with them.

So Joy goes to pick up a water bottle and my friend's son snatched it out of her hand and said his sister's name over and over again. So as to say "This is not yours. This belongs to my sister." I had never seen this behavior before, which is why my friend and I started chatted about it and I learned about some built in benefits of twins.

Fast forward, 3 maybe 4 months to this weekend. I was giving some baby clothes away. My friend, his wife and their 8 year old daughter were over. Joy sees the five bag of clothes with what USED to be her winter coat on top. She takes her OLD winter coat and goes and puts in on top of the ottoman with her NEW winter coat. I say "No baby, this is too small for you. We are giving it away to the new baby now." She seems to be ok with it and then goes about her business while we are talking.

She starts picking up boots, one at a time and transferring them into the den/playroom. Then she starts picking up winter accessories, gloves, hats, etc. and transferring them one at a time to the kitchen. Until slowly, but surely, there are two piles of new baby stuff in two different rooms FAR away from the giveaway pile.

I didn't know what was going on and my mom pointed out that Joy was taking things that she DIDN'T want them to take and putting them out of sight.

OMG! I died. This is a funny, funny baby. So then I'm thinking are my children kind? Or are my children as stingy as every other almost 2 year old, but they were just too young to show it at the block party.

Either way, I think the lesson is: babies change every day and it's my job as their mother to make sure they are giving and kind. I will definitely have some laughs about it in the meantime!

Saturday, October 28, 2017

Thanks, I'll Take It!

I currently have two checking accounts. One because it's convenient, the other because they offered me $300 to open a new checking account and I took it and it's convenient when the first one ISN'T, so I keep it.

I've had a third checking account before at a bank that was local to the Pittsburgh region, same scenario, they offered me $300. I met all their little requirements. After they mailed me the check, I walked into the bank to close the account. Now, I would have kept this third account open, excep they have NO banks in New York... useless to a New Yorker, which I was when I closed the account. I'm back home now.

So now, enter 4th bank in my life (not mentioning bank names because two of these banks have been clients of mine before and given my banking experience, a few more will be clients of mine in the future. All vague everything over here.)

Anywho, I have a credit card with this 4th bank and they serve me up an offer that says "open a free checking account and we'll give you $300, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk."

Fortunately, I can and do read disclosures. The asterisks don't phase me. Now, there will be two or three days in my life over the next 90 days where the steps I have to take to meet the requirements will annoy me, but I used to do this when I didn't even have kids.

I had logged into my credit card company to check a balance as I was balancing my checkbook to see how much money I have left to buy groceries for the week... and diapers... and hats, and scarves and gloves, because it was a brisk 38 degrees in Chicago today, and wouldn't you know it... we keep losing hats and scarves and gloves. Ah, budgeting.

So yeah, I'ma take this $300 and if they have some perks that tickle my fancy, who knows, I may keep them open and just have 3 checking accounts. Probably not.

The moral of the story is, if you offer me $300 to open a checking account. Thanks, I'll take it!

P.S. I can't believe I haven't posted since July. I mean, I can, but I can't.

Knocking another state of my list this week. I'll be back in another 6 months or so to tell you which one it was. LOL!

Sunday, July 30, 2017

This Inspiration Here...

I just read something that I think is going to change my life for the better.

Do you read Fair God Boss? If you don't, you should. It's all about working women and how to make work better for women. Almost every article I see on there is clickable. I get the email updates and there's always a profile on a dope woman telling her story.

I forgot who the woman was (And I don't have time to search the site to figure it out), BUT she was a working mom and her perspective was dope. She said she had to throw the word "balance" out of the door as in work-life balance. And instead at the end of each days she asks herself "are you satisfied."

FAM!

Let me tell you why this is life changing for me.

Balance to me, indicates some fair split. I will work a fair amount of time and I will spend a fair amount of time with my kids and it's just never enough. I can never spend enough time at work. I can never get enough of my kids.

But some days I need to work more. And some days I need to snuggle with my babies more. And the contents and circumstances of each day dictates which I choose and at the end of MOST days I am satisfied with the choices I made about how that day played out.

If I spend too much time thinking about balance (T, you worked 4 wknds in a row, you're failing your daughters) or (T, you had 3 dr's appts for the girls on 3 consecutive Fridays. you're failing your team at work), then I could put myself in a never-winning situation. But if I say hey, are you satisfied with that presentation you completed by the deadline, despite listening to your babies cry while you did it? Or are you happy your babies are developing according to their charts and thankful that you have insurance to pay for those visits, then the internal conversation I'm having with myself is MUCH more positive than the work-life balance one.

Thank you, unnamed woman (ok, she was named, but I forgot) for dropping that gem on me. As soon as I find the article I will share widely on social media.